May the skies hear me
as I whisper into my heart
and speak to myself.
I rule out the chance of success.
My mind is a mess,
torn by stress,
still pushing 'cause I'm blessed.
And time won't stop 'cause the clock is the test,
This life thing is chess.
Be three steps ahead
Or one day wake up
and checkmate, you're dead.
It's all in my head.
May the moon cry when I speak
Like I stabbed out its heart
and watched as it leaked.
I'm torn by defeat.
I will now punish my soul with lust
And harm my mind.
Death, I lurk.
May the wind burn the skin of the wicked heart.
Deep down inside you untamed beast
you see red,
Anger is pleasure and your conscience is dead,
You sold your soul to Satan.
If I'm not mistaken
the skies heard this
And the moon will cry.
The wind will burn
And you, deep down inside shall burn
in the lake of fire.
A contest entry
- Extension of You by Nazrulith.
750 points, ended April 17, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think...
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
Nice write. Captures a lot of emotion, a lot of anger and reads almost like a rap in some places with solid rhyming and quick rhythm.
-
powerful
a great read from start to finish
-
Beautifully Executed
Very angry, yet beautifully expressed. Like an assassin of the written word, you excuted your emotions professionally and gorgeously. I did not like the rhmye flow, but that's just me. Other than that, I loved the release.
-
must have been refreshing to write this poem, there is so much anger released through it, it seems like something i would say to an enemy before i killed him, good job
-
I like this. It's deep, smooth , and gives the same emotional imagery of angst without being over the top angt filled
(Few things, though -third stanza, oneday should be two words.
"Like I stabbed out it's heart and" - the it's should be its. It's = it is. Its = possession. I make that error all the time, so I tend to pick it up when others do it.
"You sold you soul to satan" your?)All in all, I like this piece, and the emotional impact that it is hinting at.
-
-
Hey thanks for the input...I made necessary changes...please look over again if you will... You have really good advice.
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
