She's no friend and a fickle novice of a lover
a cause always short of reason for rebellion,
letting others drink from her persuasive portal
of seemingly open-neck, where we once met,
lips pressed in flames of Cobra-style fires to
aspire too in jaded-green naievety.
The kind of glow given off by a glorious
good-time girl that may ink-blot reality
in a konichiwa-wah-wah-wail
of crash-burn-learn but never lean on me,
the last sunset before the dawn of reality
is intoxicating with ankles wearing amulets
in kiss-me kiss-me yesterdays rewritten
and tomorrow's open to dreams
that make beggars feel like Kings.
She is Aries aligning with Mars
for Victory-Victor-Victoria-Victorious,
an addiction for Armageddon
without other men's theories,
a self-administered panacea
for prescription-free sleep.
The sassy minx sauntering across the stage
in ZZ Tops blue jeans parading paradise
at an Armani price
sashaying, seemingly within pocket's reach.
She'll put in an appearance at a Christening,
Wedding or a Wake, party like a pole dancer
with an inviting silver-stringed thong,
but she'll always be gone by the light of the morning.
A contest entry
- Intoxicated by Hell In Harmony.
3500 points, ended November 18, 2008, 27 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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aye, i have had her a few times, she never is seen by the morning's light, she takes flight, though she does leave a few drops of change on the carpet.
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Impressive poem. Congratulations on the trophy.
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Wonderful
Very creative and so well done. Congratulations on the bronze.
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OO LALA
What a poem you have here indeed written very well
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storiesuntold
Thankyou hon
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Great poem! I'm falling in love with your wording. Congrats on the bronze!
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Thankyou...
You are so kind...
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a very good contest entry. good luck with that. wonderful usage of words
shane -
Wow, Yvette, you never cease to amaze...
Intoxicating, compelling narrative...
Was almost afraid to look away from the screen in case I missed something... lol!
Well penned, well versed, well done!!!
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you gotta love that woman sometimes, lol, this is a great and creative poem that i have to say i loved reading, feeling a little tipsy here, i think i may need to read it again, keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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Hey champ
Lovely as always and most impressive.
Domo arogato. -c
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well done, with thoughtful words how we are affected by her charms.
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She's no friend and a fickle novice of a lover
a cause always short of reason for rebellion,
letting others drink from her persuasive portal
of seemingly open-neck, where we once met,
lips pressed in flames of Cobra-style fires to
aspire too in jaded-green naievety.
beautiful intro. carefully worded
The kind of glow given off by a glorious
good-time girl that may ink-blot reality
in a konichiwa-wah-wah-wail
of crash-burn-learn but never lean on me,
the last sunset before the dawn of reality
is intoxicating with ankles wearing amulets
in kiss-me kiss-me yesterdays rewritten
and tomorrow's open to dreams
that make beggars feel like Kings.
left me breathless.
Wedding or a Wake, party like a pole dancer
with an inviting silver-stringed thong,
but she'll always be gone by the light of the morning.
great ending. love this. thanks and goodluc
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Hmmm
Sounds like my ex wife...hahaha
Wow you painted a true picture here of those glitzy, would be glam gals allright...sashaying, seemingly within pockets' reach...oh man you got that right!
an inebriated answer to a beggars dream...
well...Ya caught me bare assed at 3am sneakin out of a strange house I don't remember entering tryng to stop my shaky fingers accidently snagging a G string (on ma guitar), thank god miss glitz was a snoring so loud..hoo!...landlady gives a wink as I press a finger to ma lips, nearly dropping the guitar...jeans socks u/pants hangin round ma neck...well, I paid ma rent didn't I...lol...car starts first go, no lights, go like hell down the side street, nicked a trash can...lights comin on people noises...shit, never again!
Well, that's what they alway say don't they...!
worst of all, if she was a good or bad lover, I really don't remember...and next payday's a looong way off
Thanks for the memory
great descriptive write Yvette, enjoyed it!
John
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Hey Yvette!! Have I ever told you how much I LOVE YOUR MUSIC . . . You sing with the free throat of a robin at dawn!!!!!
Marc
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Quite a characterization! covering every aspect, we could pick her from among the rest and choose her company knowing that she will kick our butts.
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a postcard poem - yah!
this is excellent...I love the mood, created so much by your character development...I can see her...best of luck
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Excellent take on the prompt...well-crafted write, enjoyable read.
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Very well thought out and presented. You could almost leave the post card piece out of the title. Miss Bourbon would, I think, be adequate. In my past it was Walter Whisky, but that's another story. Very well done again.
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Intoxicating words indeed, Yvette.
Cobra-style fires ignite the beginning of this binge, the glamourization of the 'ankles wearing amulets' swiftly giving way to the stark realization of 'a self-administered panacea
for prescription-free sleep'
I loved the analogy of the 'pole-dancer' with the 'inviting silver stringed thong', and the end glimmer of the inevitability of tomorrow filtering through the haze.
So, why do I feel like I'd really love a drink right now...??!
This was a real 'pick-me up', great stuff!!
PJ
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Lovely take on the prompt. You have this wonderful and uniquely fresh way of viewing things. I love your writing.
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i can't find the words! fabulous poem.
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Very nice
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You have such an amazing grasp of language, vocabulary and that special way to see and understand life, no matter the what, where, why or how! High quality poetry that left me quite speechless, poetess!
~ Nicolette
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wow
loved it the flow was startling and the rythem woderous. words well chosen and used to perfection. Beautifully written and a throughly enjoyable read.
Great job!!!!
*Go with God* my friend,
Valerie
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Stanza 4, the repeat of "parading" 'sticks' out a bit and in stanza 3 not to sure about the "Victory-Victor-Victoria-Victorious" line, just seems a little too much of a mouthfull, apart from those little things its there with your usual high standard.
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