A maple seed upon a zephyr’s breath,
Beside the bridge appears to race with me.
A whirligig in flight of life or death,
Engulfs me in atumnal reverie.
How many million lost seeds shall it take
That just a few will get to root and thrive?
A monolithic effort trees will make
When most offspring have no chance to survive.
I watch the cars speed past me in a row
Containing seeds of our humanity.
And in their wake, my metaphor will grow
As river takes the wasted seed to sea.
Most efforts never find success, ‘tis true.
Yet, trees and I are satisfied some do .
Author notes
For Lauren
I know this is off the beaten trail of what this contest will get, but the truth is that the odds against us being here at all are astronomical, the odds of us thriving and being enthusiastic about life even greater against. Yet, as I am entering the autumn of my life I find my prospects not only satisfactory, but blissful. I have learned the lesson the hundred-year-old trees have to teach; Success is not measured by the millions of seeds lost to the river's current and washed to sea, but in the beauty and majesty of the few stately trees standing fast upon the banks. Likewise, humanity should not be measured in the overall ignorance and pettiness that is pervasive throughout society, but by the great successes of the few who rise above it and thrive amidst it.
In a list
A contest entry
- Seasons Change by Samplette.
700 points, ended November 4, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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What a wonderful poem! I've never seen the use of the maple seed in a poem although I've often contemplated their twirling descent. I love the use of the word zephyr in the first line: it emphasizes the gentleness of the image, and the delicacy of the seed's movement. I love the use of the word whirligig in line 3 and I am particularly fond of that fine felicity in the choice of words in line 4 "engulfs me in autumnal reverie." In line 9 I believe the word past you want is spelled passed here. What a wonderful poem!
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Thanks for the comment on this poem, both of them! It is past. It would be cars passed me, but cars drove past me. One is a verb one is an adverb. Thanks for proofreading! I love it. Keep it up.
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This is an absolutely lovely poem. I love the use of the little maple seed: how often I've seen them and admired their twirling descent, but I've never seen them used in a poem, let alone a sonnet. I love the choice of the word zephyr in the first line: it adds so much to the gentleness of the image.I love your use of the word whirligig, and the newxt line's felicitous word-choice: "Engulfs me in autumnal reverie." One tiny thing though:In line 9 I believe the past you want is spelled passed. What a wonderful poem! I'm honored to act as amateur proofreader!
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Beautifully penned. Thank you for entering the contest. I enjoyed the piece very much. Nice!!
Sam
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Lovely...the art reminds me of a photo I took by a creek in Stevens Point, Wisconsin.
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"Autumnal Reverie"- What a beautiful title. The painting sets the stage for the poem very appropriately, its use of colors is really neat for showing this time of year. I first expected this poem just to be a visual description of Autumn, and it turned out to be much more than that. Favorite stanza: "I watch the cars speed past me in a row Containing seeds of our humanity. And in their wake, my metaphor will grow As river takes the wasted seed to sea." Great write
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Off the beaten path? Perhaps, but a path I would take any day if it led to such fine verse as this.
Well done my friend, an enviable work indeed.
All the best,
mj.
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