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We Mourn With You (2)

We mourn with you for love you grieve,
a cherished bloom you could not leave,
a gift of angels, born to hold,
with fragrance sweet, yet strong and bold;
the light of heaven eve to eve.

An image now, we can't retrieve
or hold a loved one, once bereaved -
a memory of pink and gold;
we mourn with you.

Her body gone - we can't believe
that woven threads of life un-weave.
The sky is dark, the sun is cold,
and freshest petals doomed to mould;
though time alone will grant reprieve,
we mourn with you.


Author notes

a rewrite in rondeau form of a free verse poem: http://allpoetry.com/poem/4520653

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Sandi Alford gold member
    November 6, 2008

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    It's never easy to lose a loved one, but when it's a child oh, it hurts all the more. I'm a firm believer that parents should never out live their children, but fate holds the hand no matter what we would like to believe.

    A truly beautiful poem of condolence, scribed masterfully in form, rhyme and flow. Wonderfully done my friend

    Best wishes to you!
    love and blessings, sandi


    • MargaretG
      November 6, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Sandi, your sympathetic heart has heard this poem clearly.


  • RatherImaginative silver member
    November 4, 2008

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    While the entire piece is powerfully emotional, the final stanza especially is a gem. I've never tried a rondeau before, but the form is intriguing, and I'm going to have to give it a try sometime. This is a very well-written piece. Thanks so much for entering my contest!


  • myrataal silver member
    November 4, 2008

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    It is a lovely poem of condolence ...

    I can understand and relate to these sentiments, for how cold the sun, when one flower is missing ... The wondrous knowing is: it was plucked by the Living Sun!

    Beautiful weaving of words. Thank you.

    Love to you, my friend.
    Myra


    • MargaretG
      November 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you dear one! It is important to share our burdens, and also to share hope.


  • MyrddinEmrys silver member
    November 3, 2008
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    Excellente!

    Can more be said?

    Rahad


  • Legend silver member
    November 3, 2008

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    I have no idea of the quality of the free verse piece I can only say that this one could not, in my eyes be surpassed
    Excellent Good luck in the contest

    • MargaretG
      November 4, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you Legend. The free verse was a bit longer, but wandered from the point of condolence a bit. This one is tighter with better imagery. Thanks for your appreciation, praise and applause.

1 - 9 of 9