You'll Never Read this Anyway

I'm pretty sure I was in love with you-
even now your image lingers
in my thoughts, but it makes me
feel hollow. I never pursued.
I wouldn't have persevered.
There was him. And the other one.
But not me, damned if you
would ever look at me like that.
And it was all I could do
to sit next to you and not
grab your hand, not steal a kiss,
not disrespect you. But it was real,
the feeling I had for you,
not just some schoolboy crush
that eventually fades away from memory.
Although it has changed now, it had to.
Nothing lasts forever; specifically,
the moments that we are happiest
speed by without prejudice,
they last just long enough
to shine a light on a dull day.
And so I speak now, without pretense
of friendship; your happiness
was always my intention-
you amaze me, your very
presence is captivating,
why wouldn't I want your
whole life to shine?