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Him and Mary Jane


hear it now
it's on the shore
the whispers of coconut rain

well take it now
and I'll play you a song
of him and mary jane







Author notes

eh.... not even close to being finished

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments


  • NeptunesMight
    June 5

    Edit | Reply
    hmmm i was gunna try and add a verse or two but i dunno its kinda hard. you have a weird style going in your songs alot of them consist of that short 3 line verse maybe you should try another form but saying the same thing and proceed from there

    just a thought
    jack

    • Veronica Leigh
      June 5
      Edit | Reply
      Okay, I'll try it. Thanks

      You should keep trying to add a verse to this. It'd be fun to colab

  • kirbysman Moderators member
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Keep going

    I like songs like this - looks like it going good, even for such a little bit done. Keep it rolling ma'am.

    Love and hugs


  • Hell In Harmony
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hear it now
    it's on the shore
    the whispers of coconut rain

    good intro.

    well take it now
    and I'll play you a song
    of him and mary jane


    i wish there was more to this?
    tell me if you add!
    thanks and goodluck,