Fear I feel in the misty morning, fear!
Park with lost memories, now just a park.
Here I find nothing, no reminders here,
Dark plagued last night, nothing survived the dark.
Glare into the mist, casted twilight glare.
Stare while I sit and see how others stare.
Expectation within expectation…
Share with “my strangers” a regretful share.
Tight throttle of fear embraces me tight.
Caged in my mind, my life is also caged.
Fight to the end, I’ll win this endless fight.
Raged of confusion – did I mention raged?
Head filled with void no more life in my head.
Dead yet alive, I am the living dead!
Author notes
Word prompt: Ambiguity
In a list
A contest entry
- Illusionary Poetry by Amera.
2000 points, ended November 14, 2008, 12 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
.
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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I've had three aunts and a grandfather suffer from it. So it is in my family and yes, I worry about it, for my mom who is 86 (but shows no signs) and of course later, for me.
It's an insidious illness that robs you of your most precious gift: your reason. And it does it in the most horrendous way...slowly.
This was a very good poem, I could feel that desperation in knowing but not knowing...that sense of loss, of being lost.
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this is beautifully done. Alzheimers is a dasatating disease, and it must be awful to witness a loved ones mind slipping away. This sonnet is very well crafted. Congrats on the shiney silver, wll deserved...
Love & light
Debbera
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so vivid
This was awesome. You gave a great insight on this helpless situation. Great write.
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Congratulations for silver. "Head filled with void no more life in my head.
Dead yet alive, I am the living dead!" - A beautifully expressed emotion though it is so sad to hear.
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Very good. This is not an easy form to write. Impressive. Congratulations on winning the silver. Sucking up to the judge or not, it was good.
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The specter of memory loss is very real as one ages, and it is heartbreaking to witness, as well as to experience. This is a powerful portrayal of that loss of self that comes with the loss of memory. Great form and rhyme scheme. So glad I clicked.
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Wow! Can you say; “suck up to the judge”? Entering a poem in this contest in my own form kind of gives you an edge now doesn’t it? I really love this and you composed it perfectly. Nothing seems forced and the topic fits the prompt brilliantly. I know this poem took a long time to write and by seeing the finished product, it was well worth it.
Love,
Amera♥
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Interesting use of repetition, at beginning and end of each line, and combined with abab rhyming lends itself well to your topic. There is much fear. I think the hardest part is when you are still able to realize you SHOULD remember something about a particular place or person, and fish in your mind's mud for a memory and come up empty. Nice usage of "mist" and "misty;" in the mist, a familiar setting is rendered alien, even threatening.
Well described cage--inescapable indeed, when it is one's own mind. There may be rage (anger is a normal stage of grieving, grieving for the whole-er person we used to be). Perhaps a normal desire, to "fight to the end...this endless fight." Yet it is difficult to persist on days you forget there even IS a fight.
Distressed lament, focused on substantial and real losses, "I am the living dead!"
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What a poignant poem about such a terrible disease. I pray that we might find some cure for it.
Thank you for sharing, and good luck in your contest. A wonderful example of a shadow sonnet, I should think. -
My neighbour's husband has this terror illness, terrible for all concerned, what a blow to know this is overtaking a healthy mind.
A stark reminder here delicately written.
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This is a difficult form that you have executed with great care. The topic is heartbreaking and not often told from the perspective of the afflicted party. The last line broke my heart as I remember my grandmother's last year of life. Peace, Liz
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Chillingly real, an excellent shadow sonnet, a very difficult form well tackled!
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wow...very impressed...you captured the mood perfectly. There is a sense of lonelyness in your poem, of misunderstanding..very well worded...I never tried a shadow-sonnet before...Excellent done! very powerful lines
Good luck in the contest
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This is very effective use of the form. My grandmother had this awful disease, and first the memories were lost, and then her relationships, and then everything. Best of luck with the contest, this topic seems perfect for it.
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the silent stalker.....
It is most interesting that you compare the place in our minds reserved for memories as a park - a place where we go for taking stock of our lifes, of the days behind us....
The hope of winning the impossible fight, the raged underlining the knowledge of the futility, the growing void within one's self....
This disease stalks the most unaware untill it's to late....
I lost both my grandfather and grandmother to this killer disease, their lives turning into a sad, black comedy (?) in the end. Becoming just mere shadows of the people they used to be and then the end.
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