Listen while you read
http://iacmusic.com/songs.aspx?SongID=69521&ArtistID=9993
Lisa's song is magical
in fact, it's a verve sabbatical
There are thirteen black birds
that sing through the intro
in full metal leather, pure anti-disco.
Lisa's song is blue sky lightning
full dressed sex with an ocean widening
crackling static, and waves by the pair
An overgrown yard, like nobody cares
The blowing steam at an alley opening.
The chorus is a bit too long
as the werewolves howl outside
There is no bridge in Lisa's song
As we lost boys fall from sight.
Lisa's song is full of woe
But so many are, don't you know
We grow up fast, we come down slow
And Lisa's is a crimson bow
A song I wrote in case she shows
up tonight to raise her lows.
Lisa's song is full of strings
and a long hallway with shakin' keys
It'll keep you up at night like me
crawling through your memories
Lisa's song is half brand new
a song of what we all went through.
Lisa's song is always drunk
As sailors with no horny luck
It's not the clearest melody
And the verse is all transparencies
Lisa's song is a third right
But the other two are prone to bite
Change if you want
Change if you want to...
God knows I do...
Lisa's song is a roller coaster
It's LSD and a fork with a toaster
Always taking cuts, cuts in line
It's got your and it's got mine
Lisa's song ain't political
But nor is it a fucking rainbow
Lisa's song is against religion
(Not like that was Lisa's decision)
It's all UFO's and astral projection
So sexy it might kill your erection
Lisa's song is all of ours
I heard she wrote it entirely in scars
The chorus is a bit too bright
as our tunnel ends with train
The outro is a falsetto, light...
But full of postponed pain.
Author notes
Written January 30th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 50 of 50
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I liked this. The rhymes are well done.
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I saw it zee Box.
And was going to sneak in the backdoor before the day was through to leave you a little lurve note. Still as good as ever
and yes, still quite apt.
Can I publish something of yours in my new little ezine experiment?
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Very Nice Write
Very Nice Write, With good flow. I can tell you spent a good deal of time thinking this out
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yeah, about 5 seconds.
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Great flow and imagery throughout this piece!
Really good write!
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Very good write here
I found myself glued to this one it flowed well and gave an erie plot yet showed the plit of life
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This one is good!!
This is one good poem! I don't care what the pompous ones say... LOL
This has great imagery. I can see each and every thing you describe. I love possessing that great mental picture!
The emotion in this write is outstanding! I am a very emotional, empathetic (or pathetic, make your vote. LOL) person, so I enjoy reading poetry passionately.
Great job!!
But the photo could change a little. LMAO!!!
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I loved the imagery. I had to stop and then go back to reading again, It influeced my thoughts to wander
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this poem has so much imagery. and its so beautiful. i just love it. i love how you added different big words to make it more complex and intresting
my favorite stanza out of the whole poem was
Lisa's song is full of woe
But so many are, don't you know
We grow up fast, we come down slow
And Lisa's is a crimson bow
A song I wrote in case she shows
up tonight to raise her lows
thats just the one i liked the most. its very creative and very true. guhhhhh io just love this poem so much. -
I love the picture and the poem is awesome. It has a great flow, and I just like the way you blended the words. Igree that it's very inventive and unique, very different from poems I've read lately, so it's refreshing. Did you draw the picture at the top, if you did, you're a very talented drawer. Keep up the good work!
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this is really good. It's very inventive and unique. I really liked the stanza
Lisa's song is full of woe
But so many are, don't you know
We grow up fast, we come down slow
And Lisa's is a crimson bow
A song I wrote in case she shows
up tonight to raise her lows.
good job -
Gee I like this.
Lisa -
What the nominator thinks - I like this because 'Lisa' is almost a personification of all the bad things about love, and the sarcasm is a nice touch (e.g. 'Lisa's song is full of woe/but so many are, don't you know').
Congratulations! This poem was nominated as one of the two best poems on this site for a favourites comp run by D P Robertson. You were nominated by Barbie
What I thought-
Lisa's song is blue sky lightning
full dressed sex with an ocean widening
crackling static, and waves by the pair
An overgrown yard, like nobody cares
And that is how verse is written with a bit more oomph.
I haven’t read this one before and thank to Barbie for nominating it- I loved it.
Lisa's song is full of strings and a long hallway with shakin' keys
It'll keep you up at night like me crawling through your memories
As stated on previous comments that I find myself commenting longer on crap than on the good pieces but this is full of image and has both the humour and pain that all good art displays. Thank you
David
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She sent me here too. Of course, of course.
I like it.
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this one too.
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oOo Nice. Very nice! I enjoyed it a lot. Thanks.
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Any song with my name in it has to be good! Lol! J/k... Good job and keep writing. Laters.
~Saved~ -
nice
hmmmm well im sure even the beejees' would like this very interesting and intoxicating write
but overall this was very good and i enjoyed it alot
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wow I liked it! You write very good lyrics!
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I'm hoping the Hippies pick up Eddie's book .. I never got my copy of Juno .. suppose I'll have to spring for a copy. Quantum physics eh? How's the pear farm? and the boys? -
I finished writing my 6th album, and best work "Short On Cash, Not Hair"
I have a lot of interest currently, mostly by hot indie labels, but because
the music business enables me to distribute my own music digitally, and
physically, I'm just doing it all myself. Ah, I came up with doing a
non-fictional work called "Last American Hustler, A Memoir" a
nonfiction collection of all of my short stories and poetry in a book,
and that's been getting a lot
of attention, and then, I've finished my second collection of poetry called
'temporal' and that's coming along well, I mightt let the hippies do it, because
juno came out so great, I don't know how, but it did, and there's other stuff, but
you know, it's all frankly just givens, I'm more interested in my new found
love of quantum physics, google, and downloading rare material.
Edited on May 11, 9:26 p.m. because ''. -
sounds perfect .. i love boxing man .. nothing quite like its purity .. really.
whatcha got going on? anything? movie star wise? music etc? -
Mother's day, to me, is like an alien colonic
I watched the diego, castillo fight and that was a plus
Drinking fosters, and watching documentaries
on quantum physics and the ocean and shit...
You know, fucking off.
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How are you dork?
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Record it.
I think that you should record this as it works out well. I have a daughter named Lisa and that is why I clicked on it but I found that it makes a good song. -
great
lovely
anna
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this is so good. hope you don't mind, put it on my author's page.
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This is such a wonderful peice of work, and great job. Your work always brings a smile to my face, and this is just a wonderful job.
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Wow.. I wanna hear Lisa's song now.. interesting little poem, you've got here.. and quite a song, I do imagine.. Unless this IS Lisa's song, and then I really don't know what to say.. but you know, the poem is pretty good..
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passionate
this is a well-written piece.it leaves you longing to hear lisa's song.i paricularly like the rhyme scheme.it's not tied down to any set pattern,so it makes the write feel free.this is a very passionate display of love that is not traditional,but is just as romantic.thanks for sharing. -
Awesome, well written. Way too many great lines in it to list them all here. I love it. Love the scene it created in my head. Well done.
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This was really good, nicely written, nicely flowed. Awesome job. Ill probly go read something else by you as well. You did good i loved it
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really good poem, nicely written and the rhyming was good. talented you are! keep writing, awesome job!
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horus8~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem. It was nicely written and it had a good flow to it as well. I noticed some ryhming as well. It is really good. You have talent. Keep writing, and thank you for sharing this poem with us as well.
~!~Manda~!~ -
love it
Wow. Lisa's song sounds magnificent. Music to my hungry ears... -
You are the lyrical poet. Your words flow like many moons of waters that splash against silent shores. I do enjoy your work.
Lisa's song is half brand new
a song of what we all went through*
This captures the essnce of it all.
The sound was never hooked up on my new computer, and my nephew keeps promising to fix it, to no avail. Is there anything I can do to program the sound? It was on my old computer but then I got a new one. I would love to hear your CD's. CAN YOU HELP OUT???
Rnee
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night, pet. my kids came in 2nd place today. sometime, send me this on a cd..just so i have it for my own. no pressure. talk to you soon. i hope. when you are feeling better. mwah. xxoo
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Another awesome poet...there seem to be a lot of you guys on here. I always feel funky when commenting on work superior to my own....
Awesome write, the imagery is great, it flows perfectly, and all of this is a MAJOR understatement for this truly wonderful, beautiful, awesomeawesomeawesome write!!! Great job, three cheers!
Freaky -
i'm back. spent a bit of time with this. when do we get to hear the music?
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yeah, it's all right. i guess.
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oh wow...you have true talent for verse. what you are trying to convey is not lost in the rhyme scheme, and I feel for you
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This Poem was really beautiful and I could vision what you were saying about how is something we all go through.It was a lovely write!
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i am jealous to death of whatchmaycallher and i am so glad her chorus is all wrong. vulnerability and poison who me or her i have no idea. i love all your stuff and this is no exception.you write good and always differently and beautifully why couldnt she have been called mildred or mavis
Edited on Feb 01, 3:17 p.m. because ''. -
whoops... I guess for me that would be a curtsy instead? lol
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True art indeedy... I take a humble bow
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Spectacular!!!!
Horus8...This is a absolutely magnificent piece. I love the imagery you use to describe Lisa's song. You have taken Lisa's song and made it our song...I feel as if I could sing every note along with her. You are, indeed, an excellent writer. I appreciate your voice because it is so uniquely your own. You are definitely not a copycat poet. I especially favored these lines:
It'll keep you up at night like me
crawling through your memories
Lisa's song is half brand new
a song of what we all went through.
There's not too much more that I can say that will give you an idea of how wonderful I felt this piece was. By the way, thank you for your comment on "Mirage." I appreciate it so much more because I know it is your honest opinion. **Ivy Rose
Edited on Jan 31, 9:50 p.m. because ''. -
Magic Mojo
You know, old chap, you are occasionally completely spunacidicly insane, often edgy and once in a great while, you produce true art - this is one of those.
I think Nyx-Sekhmet nailed it in one glancing blow from that hammer she carries around (some sort of Egyptian goddess with one of those funny animal heads? -- no... her, not the hammer).
Yah. She'll probably go all weepy and twitchy and shrink visibly in that superheroine costume. Most Mondo Dear Sir. You got the mojo fired in the bbq and those steaks are sizzling.
Edited on Jan 31, 12:07 because ''. -
as i see it, she twirls wonderfully in a haze of wiskey and sour love, and she dances to her own beat, and never fails to forget that...
i think she would be, visibly amazing.
Nyx... -
Great
Excellent, excellent, EXCELLENT! ('the chorus is a bit too bright')
Lisa becoming a metaphor for the Unreachable; the Ideal; the Torture; the Joy ...
Proteles cristatus
resounds its earthy howl,
frozen by the shimmering
of Lisa's sacred bow
I hear the music; you know: if this poem was acting, you should have been nominated for an Oscar ...
Thank you for the treat.
Myra -
beautifully written. truly magnificent. i loved the way you described lisa song, and how you appreciated it, and the way each verse described a different aspect of lisa and her song.
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