Great with fear, filled with pain
Tides of sigh and grief.
Oh my Lord, does he sit beside you?
I know not which way he sways.
Unknown was I for the last kiss;
a kiss to trade for wealth.
Bring my kiss back to me
or blasphemy may escape my lips.
My weeping bruises who-
who lives beneath the skin.
To shame before first breath.
A bastard condemned to
others’ plagues and mockery
already dead before life.
The Sun, which feeds the Olive Tree,
The Tree bears fruit for life,
Dark clouds hide his shine now,
Dreams of old forever be
is now my faded sight.
St. Frances I can never be!
Bring forth Raphael to spread his wings
and carry me to my love.
Just as you have guided Thisbe,
my love awaits for me.
Devoid of song is this world
without the kiss of his warming sun.
Author notes
Mariana Carducci, 25, longs for her husband, a merchant always away on business; she is five months pregnant and fears that he is dead; Siena, Italy, 1655
i kinda went off in my own little world there, i hope its understandable,
Non posso vivere senza te (I can not live without you)
In a list
A contest entry
- Poetry Hodgepodge by DolceVito.
875 points, ended November 30, 2008, 25 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
what do you think.
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I half expected the write to be in Italian ... happy it wasn't since I don't read or write the language. I was happy for the author notes. Thank you for those and for the entry.
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Bellissima
Amazing write...I read the title and thought I was going to read something in Italian...un capolavore tanto bello. Grazie
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your world is quite beautiful...Sadness and longing are surely sensed.... wonderful piece!
becca
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I like how you went off into your own world -- if it's even yours and not hers! This is exactly what I was looking for, with the references to Catholic saints (so fitting for Italy and the time in general), Thisbe, and just in general. Some of this felt metrical, too, but I'm not sure if you were going for some specific pattern in rhythm.
"Great with fear" and the last two stanzas are excellent descriptions. Is the Italian line supposed to be the end, or just a translation? If it's meant to be the final line, it's not as powerful as the last line of the St. Francis stanza, and could potentially end there.
Thank you so much for your entry! Hope you had fun with this.
-malvolio
PS: Here, "The Tree bares fruit for life," do you mean "bears," as in bringing forth? -
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ty so much for your comment, and yes the its just a translation. i moved it to AN
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Wow that was quite beautiful. Very well written. I could really feel her fear and sadness. You really captured her voice. Best of luck to you in all things!
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ty so much for you comment. i really tried my best to portray an italian poet. and a woman in despair. did my homework
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I think you did a wonderful job of telling her story.
Well Done....Best wishes in the contest
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Mariana Carducci, 25, longs for her husband, a merchant always away on business; she is five months pregnant and fears that he is dead; Siena, Italy, 1655
Have fun!
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