You lit up the room with your stunning smile
Arm in arm with gardenias on your wrist
Dancing and floating with such grace and style
He pulled you close and tenderly you kissed.
Such love and devotion for each other
Ceaselessly in my heart I hold you near
I look at you in awe, my dear mother
With humble reverence and strong revere.
And time cruelly fades all your memories
Body held captive in weakness’ throes
Children, births, and your anniversaries
Beneath all the hurting a smile still glows.
Released from your shell to eternal grace
I leave white gardenias in a small vase.
Author notes
A Shakespearean (English) sonnet has three quatrains and a couplet, and rhymes abab cdcd efef gg.
In a list
- Lost Love • next in list
- Gold • next in list
- Family and Pets • next in list
- Contest • next in list
- Death • next in list
- Bronze • next in list
- Silver • next in list
- Sonnet • next in list
A contest entry
- Best Writes Since 1st November 2008! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
700 points, ended November 15, 2008, 64 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me anything! by ASmileForYou.
560 points, ended December 16, 2008, 138 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make me laugh, make me cry by poetyaknoit.
600 points, ended December 20, 2008, 36 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sonnets! by fluffatron69.
540 points, ended April 2, 14 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites contest!!!!!!!!!!!! enter!!!!! by foreveryourslove.
1120 points, ended November 9, 1070 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - 1000 points, 1000 pws by Shadow Anonymised.
1000 points, ended November 23, 1078 entries
• next poem in this contest, • Add to finalists list, or remove from contest - A hearts dilema...Is the grass greener? by BeachBum1.
930 points, ended November 3, 20 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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Beautiful
A beautiful write and so fitting for the form you used. Deserving of it's many trophies.
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beautiful and sad
this was so emotive I wasn't expected that sad ending which was like a hammer blow to the heart. swift and beautiful, I could really visualize. You appealed to all my senses in the use of flowers a great way to convey the different experiences of life, as flowers are brought for such different occasions. so melancholy and haunting, yet somehow you managed not to be too morose. I thought this was truly touching warm and deep. thank you so much for entering good luck
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awe.
so beautiful...such a sweet write.
thanks for entering.
best of luck,
this is wonderful. -
nice
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white
White gardenias,so petal perfect,so poetic.I liked this piece so,so much. -
nicely written... reminds me of a walk down memory lane... yet I don't really think that it has a lot to do with making me feel grief. Thanks though for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into this contest.
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Easily rhymed which was good, but the rhythm threw me off a bit. It was still a wonderful job though and I have to say I liked this very much. Thank you for entering my contest and I wish you the best of luck
Damien -
love sonnets like this you really did a great job on this
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Thanks for entering!
Okay, the first thing that strikes me about this poem is the flawless rhyme - well done!!
The second thing I notice is your lack of punctuation. It's there in dribs and drabs, but not enough... theoretically, punctuation in a poem should be anywhere it would be in a story or essay. Sometimes it helps to write it out in story format, add in the punctuation, then re-edit into poetic form
Al this being said, you've done a wonderful job with the sonnet; you've used a wide vocabulary, and beautiful imagery
Thankyou for entering this piece, and I wish you the best of luck!
Maria
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Thank you so much for entering my contest. I enjoyed this poem very much and I am glad that it made it to a finalist round. Although it did not make a trophy winner I hope that I can see more from you in the future.
-Damien -
This was an ok rhyming poem peice but I'm looking for the best. I need some interesting thoughts ideas. Somethings artistically noted down as like an elegant face those things should come to mind.
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Aww. This is beautiful.
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I really related to that, and enjoyed it! The way you ended it was beautiful, and clearly heartfelt... It makes me sad, though your mother has gone to a better place. The image of the white gardenias in the vase hit me really hard, it's just so stark and sudden... Brilliantly written!
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awwww this is precious. I love the style, the rhyme, the story and everything about it. Thank you so much for entering the contest.
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well writen
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I like the rhyme in this, thanks for sharing
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very imaginative and unique piece u got here !!
i like how the last line pulled me through !
good luck with this amazing write !!
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Beautifully done.
Love, Raneika
Thanks for entering!
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this was a lovely write. haha i like how youve one one of each trophy. =]
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Beautiful sad sonnet.
Congrats on the well earned trophies
I enjoyed it very much, thank you for sharing.
Well done. -
this is so beautiful and sweet! i love it! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
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Oh wow, this is so well said! I love that you were able to make this so powerful and in the form of a sonnet, it adds to the poem overall. Best of luck in the contest. Keep on writing, ~TC
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So sad and poignant, beautifully written.
Best wishes
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This is really pretty. I like the fact that you wrote this in a sonnet. Sonnets are very pretty, and the meaning behind this poem is so beautiful. I like the couplet at the end of the poem that really gives it a nice finality. Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Congratulations
Congratts on the Gold! Well deserved for a most
beautifully written and sensitively expressed poem.
My granddaughter (aged 5) loves your "grown up pussy
cats" Best Wishes George ++++ -
Poignant yet so beautifully written.
Good luck in this contest.
summer51
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Oh my goodness, this is so sad and perfect! I absolutely love this! Thank you for entering!
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Extremely touching, poignant... a very fine and deftly written sonnet, in fact, just wonderful! I loved it a ton, maybe even two tons!
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This is very beautiful, though I'd prefer it to be abab.
It's very well written, and a very beautiful idea.
I picture it perfectly. =]
Very good!
Best of luck!
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Beautiful
What a beautiful sonnet! I am no good with those...lol! I am more free verse, haiku, and whatever. This was a worthwhile read and very poignant. Fantastic work again. ~mandie~
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and a beautiful sonnet it is. what is it about
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BTW, thank you so much for your compliment.
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My mother is very ill. This is how I remember her and how I forsee her passing. Gardenias are her favorite flowers.
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Congratulations on a very well deserved bronze, this is a very beautiful and heart felt write, a pleasure to read.
I am sorry for the pain you have been and are going through.
All the best...Sue
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Awww, this is so beautiful... But so sad. I just love how I can relate to this and how it breaks my heart and yet enlightens me at the same time. It's refreshing.
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Very touching, just enough descriptions, and so much emotion. I'm sorry for your loss (assuming this is true) I'm watching my great-grandfather struggle with Alzhimers and this reminds me of him. He forgets he has great-grandchildren and thinks my little brother's his dead son (they share their names). So thouching and well writen... Thank you for entering my contest.
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Very touching indeed. Thank you so much for entering this.
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A lovely tribute to a life with memories worth holding onto, and the family's double bereaval that accompanies death after Alzheimers. I am so sorry for your loss.
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This is a wonderful poem about a mother. Very nicely written. IT flows very well and is an enjoyable read. Thanks for sharing this with us and thanks for entering it into my contest.
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beautiful poem, dear. Absolutely beautiful. It is full of love and grace. Yet it makes me sad. I understand from the last stanza, that you mother has passed away? If that is so, I am sorry. You have my sympathy and care.
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