he held his mouth,
to let the smoke flow coolly,
unlike the drips
she let dribble from her chin
tried so hard,
but that boy just don't know (notice)
that he holds a world in his hands
and he contemplates life,
awkwardly,
and decides it's nothing more than a bad dream
and as he gazes to the west,
she rises in the east,
trying to balance their differences,
and prove their connection is valid
interconnected by blazing fires
that let them feel alive,
surrounded by bubbles that bring a normalcy,
they live, and they love
a perfect union
touched by no one
Author notes
whispernthedark
A contest entry
- how many times can i break till i shatter. by innocence jaded.xx.
900 points, ended December 3, 2008, 57 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Wow, this is amazing. I loved every word. This was simply captivating and very emotionally powerful. Your words just illuminated from the page. I loved it :]
-and he contemplates life,
awkwardly,
and decides it's nothing more than a bad dream
...
I love those lines. Especially how you added "awkwardly" in there. It really added an intensity to that part. Thank you for entering & best of luck ! <3 -
please reread the rules
& let me know when you've done so.
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crazy, i fixed it at the exact same time you put this comment it's fixed now
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"and as he gazes to the west,
she rises in the east,"
that is so beautiful and so very descriptive of distance... a very moving and lovely poem.
~ Nicolette
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and as he gazes to the west,
she rises in the east,
trying to balance their differences,
and prove their connection is valid - love the balancing duality here. 3 of those clappy smiley dudes.
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