His blood dripped,
roses, red -
not unseen, but white
on the petals
of my life.
His wounds flowed
Love, red -
not unfelt, but healing
on the hurt
of my heart.
His Love flowed
blood-dripped red
upon petals of hurt
giving Life to my heart.
Author notes
This poem is a new form developed by myself. It is called a Finclo.
Stanza 1 and 2 set the scene. There is no syllable count, but stanza 1 and 2 should form a progression refrain.
Lines 1 and 2, and lines 3 and 4 of each stanza
are used to develop stanza 3. Its content should
also offer or portray an outcome.
Please see the following link for a better understanding of this form:
http://allpoetry.com/list/59653-The-Finclo
In a list
A contest entry
- God Does Good Things (4) by SoldierOfTheCross.
400 points, ended December 1, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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Beautiful
praise poem! I just read the info about how you structure this form & since you're writing about The Savior & His sacrificial love I get it! You certainly have an intensely structured artistic gift! Your metaphor is perfection & I can't even begin to imagine how you came about creating this interesting form! It helps the mind to dig deep into the construct of thought & is quite elegant. Bravo Frans! I love this. Why did you call this Finclo?
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Dear Kathleen
simply because Finclo implies: final conclusion. By the way, the finclo emerged like many discoveries - by accident. I have no skills training in poetry, but sometimes a free write plus feeling of heart produces something you give a 'name' to! Blessings to you for reading this poem.
Frans
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I like the form.
There is a lot of thought in so few words. This poem makes me think of the white purity within the red of sacrifice. It is inspirational.
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Beautiful
How so few little words impact our hearts, especially about what Jesus did on the cross...I felt it.
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I do not write this kind of poetry, but to see it written this way, in only a few lines the whole faith of life and the whole life in the faith. Interesting form, indeed.
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Nicw way of showing us the fincio form..Such a spiritual write..Gentle, loving, showing God's character and ways on a soul...His precious blood's healing powers bringing life!
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I really love this poem. It is a different kind of poem than I am use to hearing and for that it deserves a lot of credit
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Dearest Poetic Friend ...
When the soul combines reason, emotion and spirit, wondrous things happen ... such as this Finclo! I love the progression; I love the step by step path -- taking the reader by the hand and leading the inner child over obstacles towards a higher awareness. My! You are such a profound teaching healer!
Thank you for giving us all such beautiful structures AND the inspiration to fill it with our own sentiments!
The poem is beautiful and demonstrative; it instilled hope. Perfect. The only thing I would change if it was my poem is: I would take out the as at the beginning of the second line, last stanza.
Love
Myra
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This is wonderful and to me it contains a poignant statement of faith with an undertone of personal sentiment that reaches into the reader’s heart.
Love,
Amera♥
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A wonderfully pure and honest testament to your faith. Wonderfully visual. A pleasure to have read. I am interested in this form as well. Love the explanation and find this form could go in so many directions. Utterly creative and well done. ~Pamela
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I do agree with Little Feather that you need to explain it a little better, but other than that I enjoyed it and you are on the right track
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An interesting form
The description needs a little work. Are lines 1 and 2 and lines 3 and 4 to be refrain line? Is there any set syllable count as well.
I must admit the scene it sets is on of a gothic nature for me. I can't help but think of Vampires as I read this lol, I don't know if that was the imagery you were going for, but it is very strong.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
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