Grey-ish lights and despondent hues
pave the way to yesterday
where the streets were lined with promises
which lie scattered in today
Fear envelopes all the complex words
the one's that can't pretend
to make light of this painful place
where the tunnel has no end
I am not lost, rather misplaced
or stuck in a mistake
This just doesn't make any sense
when life, it is at stake
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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this is one of your most mature poems in every way ... it is hard to believe that it sprung from such a young soul's pen ... but the depth of soul has no age, and the wisdom of experience does not always equal advanced age (it rarely does, anyway ...)
I could distinguish two levels of meaning in your verse, first it speaks to me about a physical place and a concrete event taking place there - at a deeper level, taken metaphorically, it tells me about a place within the soul, where suffering is experienced ...
I thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings in such a graceful and profound manner ...
I am truly touched ...
much love,
marion
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What beautiful wording. I really enjoyed reading it. It creates very good imagery and emotions. Very well written. well done.
Ann -
Wow Ellie this is different from some of your other poems I've read. Quite a unique difference. Thanks for sharing; I enjoyed this.
Love Brian
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i like how you ended it. there's humor there ( sorry because I'm sure you didn't mean it to be funny ) as well as metaphor.
well written (:
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thank you
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I liked it a lot!I think the last line throws the whole piece off.However I think the whole 'torch' thing is really good.Just make that into another poem.Good job!
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Thank you for commenting. I do agree with that the last line kind of doesn't fit. I started with the last line because it symbolises how I'm feeling...but the poem I then wrote has a different tone. I think I will erase the last line and leave it for another poem, as you suggested.
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i like it! i think its good!
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