Cobwebs floating in the mist,
I am a stranger to this earth
I gave my life away like the stars in the sky,
I came to earth to sing with the stars in heaven
To float on the wings of an eagle.
Following footsteps of a staircase that reaches nirvana
A bearded man with no name
In this place where I am found
It is deeper than the eye can see.
Sometimes I sit and think of times gone by,
Where the mirror favoured my name.
Where people fell on their knees and worshiped me.
There was a time when I was important
They fell in love with me.
People looked in the mirror
As I walked down the stairs
But, now it’s muffled in the woods
The screaming no longer heard
I cannot break through
Trapped in eternal damnation
A new age has begun.
Author notes
Mickie27
A contest entry
- a place between the cocoons and wrinkles. by bird-mad girl.
1750 points, ended November 19, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
-
I think in the second to last line of the first stanza, instead of repeating the word "star" again you should use a different word that means star like nova, comet, or meteor.
I thought the second line in the first stanza was a bit cliche.
I felt like there wasn't much imagery in this piece. It was just words I felt like I've already read before.
-
Loved the title, and loved the message that this piece portrays. Very well done, this was beautifully written :]
-
I felt that we too are mirror image to Jesus...feeling what he felt as he walked, talked and reached, ultimately suffered...loved it of course.
-
Wow, this is truly a gorgeous piece. So light and airy and with such intense depth at the same time. Hard to accomplish! I love the imagery in this one it is delicately portrayed! Very nicely penned, I look forward to reading more of your stuff
-
So telling of the sort of message that must certainly be prominent with Jesus in his every day, while waiting for the faithful to come home. Beautifully portrayed.
-
A very spiritual and personal piece. Has strong emotions throughout. Beautifully penned. Best to you in the contest.
Sam
-
I am not religious, but I can feel the emotion and commitment which has gone into this penning. Very well written indeed.
Adding your comment:
1 - 7 of 7
