I stood behind Rock Butterflies and watched as her eyes met mine.
Something was stopping me.
My glass could not hold the drink she was offering me.
So my eyes dropped..
And I said...
"Damn"
The poor suckers sleep late into the morning yet when she walks by,
It’s like the dawning of the ages.
Their eyes been trapped in cages,
But for then they are free.
Yes, they can see,
The elegant beauty that walks by them.
And together they say...
"Damn"
She continues to stride,
Through the sea of raping eyes,
Perverted sex cries,
And down a little street called- Perfection Blvd.-
A place where streetlights shine rainbows,
And the strip clubs offer free sex shows.
A place where the air is laced with ecstasy,
And burning jail cells for your Ex to be.
A place that sparkles brightly with its warm weather conditions,
And performing street magicians that juggle politicians.
Yes, a place meant only for the valiant,
Leaving the faint hearted with a single word of utter amazement...
With eyes in disbelief,
They sigh and say...
“Damn”
The street I walk down is one of loneliness,
Emptiness,
Some call it ‘blissless.’
What is this?
I’m sick of bottled lotion and my outdated ‘Husky Beauty’ magazines.
The nights I feed myself strawberries and soured whipped cream.
Goddamn, I deserve a whore.
I deserve a girl that can show me more.
I walk the streets,
Peer through windows to the sound of my heartbeats.
Shaking,
Breaking,
Cursing,
Failing.
I need a break.
Shot.. sip.. sigh..
Smile.. pay.. bye..
I begin again.
Searching.
Looking.
Peering.
Seeing...
“Damn”
I move closer,
The wind blows her.
Startled she looks my way.
Eye Contact...
“Damn”
Her bright smile and a nod of the head,
Ready to ask the question...
I said,
“How about dinner for two,
Just me and you,
By the fireplace in a candle lit room?”
Moment.
Silence.
Moment.
Quiet.
I repeated,
“How about dinner for two,
Just me and you,
By the fireplace in a candle lit room?”
Moment...
Uneased look.
Sigh.
Then replay.
“Look I’d love but you should know, I used to be a man”
I Stand.
Comprehend.
Think.
Then say with shivering hands...
“Damn”
Poem by Ben A.- "The-Early Complex"
Author notes
This isn't true... lol thank god. This isn't my best poem ever, but considering I'm trying to explore different areas of writing, you could say this is my best poem in this particular style.. hope you enjoy, good luck with the contest!
Written January 30th, 2004
A contest entry
- Your best prewrite by glazecovered.
300 points, ended February 23, 2004, 274 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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That's the feeling I was going for... everyone has that one person that just catches there eye and at that moment, appears as the visible personification of absolute perfection... but reality is, is that this person has their problems and issues just like us. Granted, most of us haven't had a sex change, but still, the idea of perfections imperfections is facinating to me... Thanks a lot for the comment, i truly do appreciate it!
Ben
" -
This is most certainly one of the most unique poems I have ever read, it was kind of shocking at first, and took a moment to...sink in, but that is not quite the right word choice. I guess it just took a second for it to really hit me. I especially found the ending entertaining.
~Bree -
excellent
A tentative beginning, as her advances are shyly refused. I love the description of the 'eyes been trapped in cages'... What an exquisite phrase of blinkered eyes finally seeing the light. And again the 'sea of raping eyes'..that look of lechery as men undress women, violating them with a look. I can almost 'see' her striding down that boulevard, long slim legs, short skirt, hips swaying, a bag swinging from her hand. A perfect vision conjured up in my mind by your description of the night life; the sights, the sounds, the smells, as everyone turns to watch her. This place she inhabits so different from your own lonely world.You search the street, the bars.
Shot.. sip.. sigh..
Smile.. pay.. bye..
Has there ever been such a succinct and perfect description of drinking alone in a bar in so few words ? I doubt it. Then finally you find her. Make a fool out of yourself by acting like a gentleman. The embarressment of having to ask again and again as she looks at you with mocking amusement.But at least she was honest *smiles*
This lacks a consistant rhyming scheme, but I think that matters little, it holds together perfectly. The short snappy one word lines and the punctuation work well too.
If I hadn't already said so much, I would say I am speechless *Laughs*
Kat
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There is just so much in this poem, that I'm gonna have to really look at it carefully which I unfortunately don't have time to do just at this second. But I shall return, have no fear *smiles*
Thank you for the comments you made on 'Whats goes around comes around' and 'The truth is a lie'
I would absolutely love if you were to write a reaction poem, I know with your talent it will be well worth reading and I look forward to seeing it.
Kat -
This is so awesome, the ending is just hilarious. I loved this! Great job, this is the kind of poem that sticks with you. Wow, just wow! Thank you for entering and good luck.
~Anastasia -
He's done it again
Yo B, I like this. I can already see it as a tight poem to perform somewhere. You never cease to make me laugh. Peace. -
Fantabulous!!
LOL!! This was great!! This is my favorite one so far... it seemed to be such a deep peice, and the "Damn" part is what made me keep reading faster and faster until the freaky part about the he/she/it thing. LMAO!! I like this one because it is so funny and well written. A very good peice. -
Heeheehee, that's so funny. I was sitting there with all these expectations and you finished up with that. LMAO! Great write.
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WOW. interesting lol. very interesting twist. i think i'll be thinking about this one for a while. very funny, and keep on writing. allie
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