He paints me beautiful.
On his canvas
my white imperfection
is captured in the endless dance
of shadow and light.
My body moves
like a sand dune’s soft surface,
changing its shape and color
following the rules
of love’s touch.
In the words of his poetry
I am the unfinished symphony
lingering between sun tangerine hues
and lilac unattainable purity
hidden in the oasis shades.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 34 of 34
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I like this stanza most:
My body moves
like a sand dune’s soft surface,
changing its shape and color
following the rules
of love’s touch.
Thank you for sharing your poetry with the contest. -
uniquely beautiful
your poem is imperfect. imperfections are not transferable, copyable, recreatable. imperfections are unique. your poem is unique. uniquely beautiful
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This is uniquely beautiful comment. Thank you.
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it's beautiful to read i love the opening line, but i alway thought purity was white, hey it was a long time ago maybe my minds playing tricks no me lol.
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Thank you Quill Bill.
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Outstanding.
I loved the vivid imagery in this poem. I liked the concept of him painting a picture of you- I thought this was very original and that you captured the sense of an unfinished picture perfectly. This is your writing at its best. Good luck in the contest.
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Sonja, your molded imperfections are lovey in their "dance of shadow and light" Lots of movement shown in the following stanzas that gives credance to your opening.
Might I suggest a change of title though to 'molded imperfections' from just 'molding' it's a clearer image of your wonderful conclusion of
'hidden in the oasis shades' (and I'd omit 'the')
But these are only suggestions dear, it's a truly beautiful piece!
Best wishes in your contest!
love and blessings
Sandi
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My dear friend, I am delighted to see back your smile. Thanks for reading and for your kind suggestion. I will think about it.
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Soft movedment
from beginning to end with a fear that the image on the canvas will dissapear. Thanks for the read. Frans
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Thank you Frans. Well, once when it is settled,image from canvas can't disappear.Canvas forever memorize the painters moves.
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This is soft and gentle, describing a love which sees beauty, which in turn is enhanced by the seeing. Your poem shows the process wonderfully.
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My dear friend, your colors and traces of your sandal on my site always brings me this special refreshing breeze of great poet friendships. Thank you.
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Exceptional
Beautiful words and images..you have responded perfectly to the picture prompt. Your poem is a work of art.
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I still do not know who is behind this strong name but your comment is a word of poet. I would like to read some of your poetry. I hope that soon you will show us your talent too. Thank you.
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this is very beautiful! I love the imagery & metaphor of the dunes...
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And I love to see your smiley face on my site, dear Tara.
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BEAUTIFUL!!!
One sits down and does their best to capture feelings of their loves beauty , on canvas and in sweet poems!'s
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... and one sits down to write me so lovely comments . Thank you dear friend.
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Captivating verse! The many ideals of "unfinished" comes into full spectrum bloom in reading this.I suppose through my reading,you've brought to mind the one most important fact surrounding the topic. In as much as your artfully pulling issues together your eyes see. The overall one fact remains for me,the unfinished labor of love is it's sense of alive.As if awaiting more embellishments yet to come in it's simple form.
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Thank you dear Suseann.
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As I told Nic (& others before), Love requires nurturing in order to bloom, harvest, seed, & bloom again. It needs water, light, & sustenance. Love is an unfinished canvas, indeed. A great metaphor, my Friend. Good luck in Zayra's contest.
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Yes, that's true, we can't expect things just to happen. Thank you for such a nice comment.
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awww, this is just sooo lovely
good luck in the contest and take care
Stephanie ♥
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Thank you dear Stephanie.
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This is beautiful, Sonja...all the colours of love is here, of creation and shaping and re-shaping... this is poetry in motion!
~ Nicolette
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After this kind of Comment I have to take a deep breath - and to smile knowing who is talking to me.
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Humm..painting of the poem through the brush of the words..through the colors of the love..and through the canvas of the life..you did a wonder fascinating us..well done...
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It is not easy to paint or to mold words on the canvas of life. Thank you for praising me so high.
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A beautiful write. Lovely simile and metaphor. Heartfelt. Very good imagery, flow and tone. Lovely depth of feeling. Vivid descriptives. Good word choice, nice alliteration and assonance. Well penned and much enjoyed. Best wishes in the contest.
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Dear Shelley, your comment always lefts me speeches. Thanks for reading.
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Ah, an enviable heart's labor dear, and so aptly put.
all the best,
mj.
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Thank you. It is not easy to be in the same contest run with you, but, let's the best win.
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Very beautiful Indeed!
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Thank you dear friend.
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