The effort it takes
To force a smile
Forsakes the strength
Of many men
A mirror of the ghastly grin
Of every little death
The bloodless chin
The teeth of lies
The sorrow streaks of eyes
The scythes
The hard, half-empty sockets
Laughing with baby’s breath
In that smile,
We are concealed
As smiles upon the dead
Revealed
As barely as
The dirt confines
The death to which
The smile consigns
Those marble doors
That mark the place
In crooked scores
Where life was traced
The lines that spell
A wretched pain
That dwell within
An etched name
The effort he makes
To forge a grin
Portends the hell
Beneath his skin
For, death’s cold smile
Has smiled on him
Through the guileless eyes
Of a friend
Author notes
I had no concept of "le petit mort" as described on wikipedia. I read the article before writing this, but I decided to interpret it in a way that made sense to me tonight.
Death is a very obvious, and in this case literal theme throughout this one, but I tried to write it in such a way that "death" could symbolize any loss or deteroriation.
The phrase "the little death" seemed appropriate in this context for me because "little" would seem to make light of a subject, but when death is that subject it comes across as ironic. I also felt there was irony in the appearance of a skull's grin, as well as the act of smiling humorlessly and through deep sadness in the wake of a loss, so I tried to mash all those elements together into one big ball of imagery and irony.
Oh yeah, and the title in English is "Stronger Than Death."
A contest entry
- i watched her die many times. by Death of the Author.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i watched her die in rhyme. by Death of the Author.
700 points, ended November 21, 2008, 5 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I seriously
love those
middle lines
that I already
copied and
pasted in
my comment.
I also tried to make this comment look like them, but it didn't work
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This is unique and had a nice flow going. I am always very interested in reading your works because they never cease to amaze me. I loved this.
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Should have realised it you
I, of course, am going to take all the praise for getting you to write ^^ -
Yes...nicely done.
"One big ball of imagery and irony" - yes I think you did that well
Those marble doors
That mark the place
In crooked scores
Where life was traced
The lines that spell
A wretched pain
That dwell within
An etched name
Those lines are far and away the best in the poem I think.
I'm not sure that your last line carries enough weight...the build up to it is good, but it seems a bit of a let down.
An enjoyable read, a good take on the prompt, thank you for entering.
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Yeah, I think you may be right about those last lines. I may change that, I was just too exhausted last night. Thank you.
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Let me know
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Adding your comment:
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