she held it between her collarbones -
knuckle white with pressure
and pushed into skin
blue with exposed veins.
the second hand froze,
curling toward insomnia -
blotting out stars with fingerprints
- - - we took the hint,
and stopped the world in mid-rotation.
Author notes
I don't know. I tried.
Prompt: waiting on the moon.
I pictured a woman, so stuck in a situation that she just wanted to stop time... it made sense in my head.
I seem to be saying that a lot lately.
DQ if it's not what you're looking for.
78/100
In a list
A contest entry
- 30-40 words of Brilliance #28 by AutumnGypsy.
550 points, ended November 6, 2008, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Want The Best of Pre Writes by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
kind but constructive criticism please.
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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this was different here hon a very different ride for me any way i was deeply impressed with this good luck to you in the contest
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This is amazing and just the kind of thing I am looking for in this contest, so well written. Best to you in the contest
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curling toward insomnia...
loved the vision and feel with just three words.
great take on the prompt!
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I wouldn't DQ this, she asked for brilliance, so ta-da!
Loved that last line.
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i think this is an excellent entry for the prompt, i really liked it
good luck and take care
Stephanie ♥
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