Silent rivers flow in a jungle unwavering, slow train on
a mountain dying. Contagion to blemish a lifetimes
dependence. Here my life flavours propitious indulgence,
desires a life radiant, dreaming a little of investment
So what the heck am I waiting for, seriously I need to
kick down doors, vent my anger to the bastards more
Of a dying mind I suffer, and nobody cares to dig
deep into my boiler, so there porphyria rages out off
control, clutches securely around my skull, and bleeds
my cerebrum into waters cold
Oh child of a lonely soul I am, Peter Pan desires killing
my retirement plan, not something age can easily fix
For here I am, stuck in this age old conflict between myself
and universal law, despoiled through time by accident of
man's vicious flaws. Everybody it seems had a hand in my
downfall, even god whom I could never call
Lethal wars on merciless roads, there my tortured souls
voyage was written into coded blood, violated agreeably
and dragged through mud, such murder on the brain,
drunken fury pushing tarnished needles into blueberry
veins, cocaine too should corrode my olfactory secretor
For what is left of me to desire, my body is old and weak,
in need of dire attention to reawaken its passionless fire
Well that’s just a glimpse into my lonely self,
a walking, breathing, living soul on nobody’s watch, left
to gather dust in deaths fiery crotch
Yeah it may seem all is lost, and so here I am, criss-crossing
roads east to west, and north to south, trying to understand
where on earth I went wrong
Suicide, that would end it all if I were not so strong. Oh who
can say I don’t belong, will the bastards stand up and just sing
my song, should I down a bottle of scotch so as to fade away
Strangers I know wouldn’t give a toss if I decayed, the bastards
in all their rage would even see me betrayed. Frustrations irritate
this child of loneliness, shake the blood into an ominous mess
All of my life I have desired understanding, and what I get is bloody
well everything transcending, going too far for a simple mind to
attend. So as I said before, here I am trying to kick down doors,
for I feel I’ve waited long enough in hells inferno. Now it’s time to
get tough and go, throw away the bottle and chocolate snow
Living desire, substance dependence no longer required, to make
a clean break should now be my golden treasure
Oh child in deaths shadow I’ve leisured, taking my life down an
opposing road thus be my pleasure
Author notes
One can go through life like an out off control bullet train, kicked and bruised
all the way to deaths door. And there indulgence in drugs will never be an excuse
for a life so crushed and left in tatters. So one should shake past mistakes and
make a clean break as the poem suggest.
In a list
A contest entry
- My Welcome Back by Amorous Arms.
750 points, ended December 15, 2008, 59 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Drugs, Diabetes & Sugar Levels! by English.Muffin.
1000 points, ended October 14, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Any thoughts I'll much appreciate
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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<3
Beautiful. Most definitely deserved gold, my fav stanza:
"Oh child of a lonely soul I am, Peter Pan desires killing
my retirement plan, not something age can easily fix
For here I am, stuck in this age old conflict between myself
and universal law, despoiled through time by accident of
man's vicious flaws. Everybody it seems had a hand in my
downfall, even god whom I could never call "
-
yay
this is one of the only poems ive read which i can say fits what i want
And it was done so beautifully, with emotion and talent.
Of a dying mind I suffer, and nobody cares to dig
deep into my boiler, so there porphyria rages out off
control, clutches securely around my skull, and bleeds
my cerebrum into waters cold
This stanza was one that i particularly enjoyed and thought it really helped me with ideas for my story
Kudos
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the metaphors in this were great. i liked reading this, it isn't much like what i normally read.
it was a good change, and very well penned.
great job.
good luck. -
excellent write the feeling calls out and keeps you reading good job
formerly mrs234 -
I was sucked in from the first word. excellent write. i especially liked the fact that the reader was left pondering .....great pen!
-
Oh I like the psychology at play here, without making excuses. For me dark writes that use psyche of humanity are far more intense, though I do like vamps and ghouls too. That gripped me from the beginning and I didn't want it to let go.
You have left me wondering 'Does he make it?' I like that in a write, poem or story.
Only one possible mistype mans vicious flaws should that be man's?
Absolutely blinding stuff
Jem
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