She was on the cusp of sixteen,
when her parents called it quits.
The title of the argument
had her name included in it.
She didn't cry, that was preserved,
instead she stood agape.
Then an unwanted determination
was placed at her feet-
Stay with the paternal,
who had been bone hard,
and irate the duration.
Or flee with the maternal,
who was meek, and after all
her best friend.
The determination concluded;
the choice, obvious and safe,
so they left,a new life they
would together create.
Soon reality, and tidal waves
from decisions she made in haste,
Would start to haunt her while she slept,
and while she was awake.
Her education ripped away, for monetary gain.
"Its 2:00am get up, time to go to work"
They beat a path there every, but the seventh day.
Then her world crashed at her feet,
much as the determination had been placed.
But this time was different it seemed,
this time she had no choice,
and the news was carried
by the sweet sound of her best friend’s voice.
"you know that I love you,
but it's time for me leave,
you can take care of yourself now,
you don't need me ".
She stood with phone in hand,
once more no tears, agape.
she said, "Ok Mom, I love you too,
I guess I’ll talk to you later."
not much time had passed before
these events, began to take their toll.
She beat that path on foot alone,
through the darkness of the morn,
Now bearing the weight of a household,
and the loss of her best friend.
It was not long before her mind
bent into a different direction.
She came home alone every night,
and alone there she would linger.
Eventually, she'd fill her time
with adults, and alcohol.
Sleep seemed no longer needed,
this landed her in the hospital
Two weeks no work, the doctor sentenced
her to stay home and rest.
With this, it seemed that all she did
was sit at home and reflect.
Thoughts of the choices she had made,
that led her to this place,
now warped her mind irreversibly
to the point of being weakened.
No longer awestruck with her life
the tears began to fall,
as if a cumulative waterfall, freed
from a thousand rivers dammed.
So strong at times, it felt as if
hurricanes winds had forced them.
With every beat of her aching heart
the pain grew that much stronger,
until she felt it shatter…
and that was the death of her-
another mind would drive her now,
one that had reached its threshold.
she gazed up and said,
“please lord forgive me
for what I am about to do”
she lifted her hand to her mouth-
she hoped she wouldn’t go to hell-
she dropped twenty pills into her gut,
and waited for the kill.
Woke up in the hospital
it seems it wasn’t her time,
her friend she hadn’t seen since school
had decided to drop by.
She spent two days in “intensive care”
the doctor, a pediatrician.
He was more interested in birth control
than in her psychiatric condition.
Her mom picked her up from the hospital
with specific care instructions,
“This child is not to be left alone”,
so she was dropped at her boyfriend’s house,
and the girl later walked home,
Alone.
She knows now why the pills she took-
did not claim her,
she was supposed to stay-
to have kids of her own,
so she could show them
how it’s Supposed to be done.
To teach them that family is paramount.
That the love of a mother-
should Never be allowed,
to be skewed by another.
Author notes
I would love to tell you that this is not a true story, however it is. This poem was written after looking at old medical records from 16 years ago, and realizing that, as indicated in the title, it was my first (bipolar) episode, induced by the obvious. Reliving the past is hard, but not learning from it takes a much harder toll on your life than facing it ever will. I am thankful to have been through this so i could learn from it, what to do, and not to do in my life, with my children. Thank you for taking the time to read this.
This is a work in progress, suggestions welcome but the story cannot be altered...thank you for taking the time to read
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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excellent
i love the honesty of this piece, it really opens your eyes to the authors pain and raw emotion.
the layout works perfectly in sectioning up the different "chapters" of the events heretold.
thank you for writing and sharing this poem x
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babyk91
thanks for reading and the wonderful comment. It is much appreciated! This poem makes me cry everytime I read it, but I am glad to have lived through it to bring light to a very dismal subject and feeling. Thanks again for stopping by!
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A moving story; Our God is always a God of 2nd chances. So much to learn from this piece about life...
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heart pour
thank you for stopping by and taking the time to read this poem. I agree that he is generous and loving and I thank him for that second chance, now that I have children of my own, I will never feel that loneliness again, and my children will never go through anything like this by my hand. -
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yes, indeed, God is in control of everything in our lives... especially when we let Him guide us throughout our walk on earth...
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Heartpour
hey, and thank you so much for the wonderful comment! I learned a lot from this piece and I am glad you thought so too! Thanks again for your kind words
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i'm sorry you had to go through this... and it's great that you could capture it so well in a poem, without making it sound like a narrative. the whole time i was reading, i was sitting here in horror thinking: 'i hope this didn't happen! is this real??' but you are a strong person for being able to learn from it. You are living proof that everything happens for a reason
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YourTrueIntension
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! I am a believer that everything happens for a reason, so your saying that means so much to me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your beautiful words.
Ginger
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Wow
I think If I wasn't someone who doesn't cry I would be bawling my eyes out. The power in the piece is awe inspiring. I can't believe anyone could go through something like that and keep going. I commend you on your strength.
The flow is a little off in places but it seems to add to the depth than subtract. And even though it is directed towards actions(which I usually hate) it builds it up and gives the emotional reaction even though most of the emotions aren't described. Amazing job. -
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RoseBlossom100
Thank you for reading this and commenting, I am very grateful for that. This was very hard to go through, and I appreciate your kind words so much. I almost didn't post this piece because of it's length and because it was such a personal poem, but with the encouragement from a couple of good friends, I decided to, and it's comments like yours that make me glad that I did. Thank you again!
Ginger
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