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what do you see?

its black
i see, hear, smell nothing.
minds eye?
mines blank.

is yours, is it?
the same as mine?

never mind.
never mine.

A contest entry

Tell me what you thought please, all feedback welcome!

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Rhythm Child
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    minds eye?
    mines blank.

    i loved these lines, such a short poem but so powerful it just shows that length does not make a brilliant poem, which this undoubtedly is
    great write


  • Meroza
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Mine is filled with images I've never seen before, and memories that I want to hold close. If you can't see anything, try relaxing more, let the blackness take you, let it drift away with you and soon you will notice a change.

    Best of luck