A dream not long forgotten
a memory running clean
Two souls, two hearts
one embrace
wicked eyes be slain
I remember your touch
your every word and kiss
I remember the intimacy
that brought me such bliss
Tell me that its not gone
Tell me our love runs smooth
For I shall not forget
when those three words were spoken
Your touch, your taste
your kiss?
Something I never want to miss
Please don't forget our love
nor the memory of bliss
For I readily await
the day you come back to me
The day we will relive
memories long past.
And we shall turn them
from distant memories
to the waking dawn of now
The beautiful unlit sunrise of the future
awaits my love.
I love you.
Author notes
Option # 5
A contest entry
- Lovvvvve by fake-or-real-smile.
550 points, ended November 3, 2008, 50 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
-
You show sensitivity and emergence of poetic range in this poem. This is the kind of message that we all yearn for. Great work.
-
I like this one. Hope is a wonderful thing sometimes.
I love the lines:
The beautiful unlit sunrise of the future
awaits my love.
I love you.
Great write, well done, good luck and thanks for entering.
Rebecca
X -
Sweet
Your poem is sweet and too the point. I love this kind of writing style, its different. This poem made me kind of happy and sad for you all at once because I have felt that way before. Yet, I know if love is as strong as they say, then it will all turn out fine for you.
. So good job with this poem, I hope to read more of your poetry soon.
Sincerely,
Starr
-
I really like this poem.Although you seem to desperatly be trying to hold on to a love you share because you are not currently together you cling to the hope of more days to come.I would like this to end with you reuniting and expanding a love you thought would not last and that it has now exceeded your expectations.Good luck in the contest.You did a great job.
-
Good luck in your contest. If I were you, I would revise this one a little. It rhymes in some places and doesn't in other's and I think the words kiss and bliss are used too often. Maybe either use free form or rhyme not both cause it confuses yur message a little, it is a beautiful poem, but it could flow better. That is my opinion, but I love where you are going with this...
-
Very well written--flows sweetly--reads smoothly.
Good job.
Adding your comment:
1 - 6 of 6
