Our Year

I know I shouldn't be writing this,
But as you can see I am anyways.
So pardon me for thinking about you
And sorry in advance for remembering our days.

It was one year ago today, last Halloween,
That I truly stole your heart away -remember that?
I was a nervous wreck admitting my feelings,
And you giggled in response for not knowing where I was at.

It was the day I got my first ever kiss,
How could I ever forget?
You held my hand as we walked to rehearsal;
All smiles, we hadn't gotten to the sad part yet.

On and off all the time,
Somehow we always found our way back.
We tried so hard not to let the past get in our way,
But for the most part, that was a talent we seemed to lack.

Break-up number one, opening night,
I finished my carving, tried to hide the ache,
But you could see it in my eyes,
And you came back because you didn't want to see me break.

Break-up number two, afternoon before that snow day,
I was getting bitter like now because all you did was push me away.
We wound up at your house, and I spent the night;
Then I took you back because you acted sorry, said you'd made a mistake.

Break-up number three, only a day after that,
And this time the mistake was all mine.
I was so scared and jealous, I doubted you,
But afterwards we made up soon one night.

Break-up number four, a week after New Year's,
And you simply wanted out because of New Year's Eve.
Promises were broken for the last time, and I let you go,
Because I couldn't hold you back, so then you were free.

It had a bad ending, our friendship was on and off too,
Because we somehow always managed to fight.
But I promised to always  come through, and that I did,
So when she let you go, I picked up your pieces and held you tight.

Back together for a mere two weeks, it was still happy,
But I guess I knew it had to end.
I was a filler, and you had found someone much better,
So you and I? We went back to just friends.

Foolish and stupid, I looked for signs that weren't there,
And now look at what we've both become.
We're both bitter towards the other, and too stubborn to fix it,
It seems everything we ever had has finally come undone.

And though it may mean nothing to you,
I just want you to know that I'm sorry.
For the way I acted, and letting it come to this,
And I can't say that I blame you, but you can't blame me.

We aren't friends, we aren't enemies, we're just nothing-
This is the outcome from all the laughs and tears.
I won't turn around to come back, and neither will you;
Still, I can't help reflecting back with a smile on our year.