Not for me, this one. Even though
it’s all I want – to be so mixed up
with you we can’t tell who’s who:
to be just puzzle pieces lying
spreadeagled on the floor, so tangled
with dust and dander there’s no way
of getting us apart again.
I try but I can’t understand what it is
you’re getting in to. For me
it’s pain, and it’s losing something
you can’t ever get back. That’s all.
I can understand lying in blank fields,
stripping under a still sun, and folding
almost accidentally – turning to face
one another, the sticky sides of the grass
chafing our sun-stoked faces.
But my imagination fails then – in a way
it never has before. There’s never been
anywhere I can’t go, any feeling
I can’t synthesise. Till now.
If I can’t even manage to want it
I suppose it can’t be worth it –
but I feel sorry for your lonely
expectant face, and I know that you
aren’t capable of understanding this.
And I’m afraid I might not be alive enough
to die, that I have no currency to spend.
The sun is skidding into the hills again.
We could go to the fields now, in the dark,
and though the light pollution
outshines all the stars, and though I
have still got nothing to offer you,
we can lie so still in the grass that the owls
think we’re dead, and come out to hunt
across the sky.
We can watch their wings scoop out
pieces of light from the city
below the hills. Then
you’ll see me crying, I promise –
you’ll see me empty of everything –
and isn’t that what you want?
If not, then I still don’t understand.
Author notes
Knew what it was. But looked it up anyway, just to make sure 
A contest entry
- i watched her die many times. by Death of the Author.
700 points, ended November 16, 2008, 18 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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think we’re dead, and forget about us,
and come out to hunt across the sky.
- re-reading I'd make a TINY adjustment by removing "and forget about us"
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I loved many lines in this - and that ending is a killer. Mostly because I have often thought that myself?
What else can people want?
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Beautiful. Although if I didn't know what you were talking about and hadn't been there I'm not sure I'd understand the deeper meaning.
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i really liked this, simple but beautiful.
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to be just puzzle pieces lying
spreadeagled on the floor - yes
I’m afraid I might not be alive enough
to die - yes
We can watch their wings scoop out
pieces of white light - yes (though I'd omit white)
Very interesting. This is the kind of thing that would probably go way over my head if I wasn't the one holding the contest =/
I think the first stanza is the best, some lines seem a little unfocused throughout, but on the whole it's good, each stanza has it's own little offering of an image or a phrase.
Thanks for entering
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