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crowded on a velvet rug






I watched him
make quiet the blaring sounds of his existence
standing stooped
in the midst of crowds that tried to steal his song

still
his face is a piece of fame
which I approach unmoved
saturated with the bouquet of silence

Author notes

prompt ~ stars still fall

A contest entry

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Comments


  • AutumnGypsy gold member
    November 2, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    What a beautiful piece, it is so well written with a great metaphor. Well done. Best to you in the contest


  • notorious gold member
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Completely gorgeous...I love the observatory feel of this, with "I watched him" and 'still'...

    "of his existence"
    Do you need the 'his'? Since you have 'him' in L1...

    So good.

    Jessica