It's a dark night beyond the shadows.
Because, beyond the shadows, there are only the visions
of what we thought ourselves to be.
And, at that point, she's fallen into the weight of the world;
a thousand disappointments in the mirror,
a million mistakes along the way.
Blank and expressionless, I found her on the floor.
The fire through the night somehow brought her tears.
All the way, we were sinking down.
And all the way, I found a new horizon at my feet.
[I saw her staring through the glass;]
I couldn't breathe, she couldn't scream.
I could only see her dying in front of me.
She dug in deep, the sight of pain and beauty made me
drop to my knees.
I only wanted to see her smile.
Author notes
Written on July 15, 2008.
Let's reach out and love one another.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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She dug in deep, the sight of pain and beauty made me
drop to my knees.
I only wanted to see her smile.
- wow...where have you been hiding.
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Thank you!
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the last stanza is breathtaking. the sight of pain and beauty brought me to my knees, i only wanted to see her smile. perfection.
apparently i've read this twice before, and this time it feels like i've never read it. it reads new. way to go - that your poems can mean different things for ONE person at different times in their lives. -
ok so like basically what your poem is to me...on yr profile page it says you've quit doing drugs...idk if this means you go to aa or na, but i go to na, and to me this speaks of recovery...a girl finding herself and letting go, and it's glorious going through the pain and seeing the other side kind of thing. this poem is...fucking beautiful.
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Thanks a bunch for the comment and the applause. I'm surprised that you got recovery out of this poem; I didn't think anyone would read that much into it. But yeah, this was about recovery. My recovery. I'm glad you liked it.
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i dont think i've ever used the word "captivating" to describe a poem on this website. but by god.
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I really really like this. That last stanza topped off an already great poem and just took it to a whole new level. You really did a great job in setting up that message "I only want to see her smile" while she's dying in front of you. You pieced together that tragic beauty and fragility without having to say it. We [the reader] just knew.
This is also great because everyone can relate. It seems alightly personal but there's this enormous room for reader response/ interpretation. As I was reading it I was thinking of all the times I watched truly amazing people breaking under the weight of the world, and I really felt that sad/ desperate sort of helplessness you described here.
Gah sorry for talking so much (but p.s. I really like that ending note).
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Wow... thank you so much. I really appreciate when someone takes the time to analyze my poetry, rather than just saying "good poem" and going along their way. I'm glad that even though this WAS an extremely personal piece, other people have been able to relate to it.
Again, thank you for taking the time and contemplation necessary to leave an amazing comment like yours. =]
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i got wonderful images with this piece. Imagery happens to be my absolute favorite thing.
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Nice job. I enjoyed this one. It seemed like two lovers on a shipwreck. Nice imagery.
Mike
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Glad you came by to read something. I have NO idea how this poem came about, honestly. I think I was listening to some strange song.
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