please don't go

tugs at stings
that slowly uncoiled
just enough to strike with venomous bite

cut the ropes that held my hands,
my mind,
with dirty thoughts

I am open
at last
exposed
and weak

please take this

this
is everything that I am

and baby tell me

tell me

that you will tie these laces
when I get too out of hand...

but never let the world do it for you...

Author notes

written-in-ink

A contest entry

face the wall [quickie PIF] by stasis. 700 points, ended November 4, 2008, 7 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest

Comments

1 - 6 of 6

By me, right now

Adding your comment:
carole21
November 5, 2008
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nice take on the prompt . . congrats on the HM
- written-in-ink
  November 5, 2008
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  thank you do much
etoile
November 1, 2008

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wow i loved this!
the imagery was PERFECT.
this was beautiful. youre winning this contest hands down.. i have no chance now haha.
this was brilliant i cant say it enough
- written-in-ink
  November 1, 2008
  Edit | Reply
  
  aww yes you do!!!!
stasis
November 1, 2008

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I did enjoy this... however, the explanation really ruined it for me. I get that in comments all the time, and I think that it's fair if I spread it around. I had an amazing idea for this as I was reading it, I could see everything about it in my head. And then I got to your explanation... you should definitely ditch that. It takes a lot away from the piece.

Now, onto the poem itself: excellent. I thought you used the prompt well and enjoyed too many parts to cut and paste in a comment .

Thank you for entering and good luck!!

♣ Tegan
- written-in-ink
  November 1, 2008
  Edit | Reply
  
  sorry
  that was st one way to look at it
  
  because you are right
  
  there is so many wayus too look at it
  
  i just like to tell everyone at leastt one
  
  but i wil remove it just for you