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Me And My Grandpa

The sunset was glorious, on that fall day,
My Grandpa was old, and set in his way.
He had a flat bottle; he kept on his hip,
Once in a while, he took him a nip.

His name for me, would always be Sport,
My Mom and Dad, said he was that sort.
He had an ole dog, that he just called Joe,
He followed him, anywhere he may go.

Sometime we go fishing, and sit in the sun,
Those were the days, when I had the most fun.
I remember the trees, where many days I had swung,
He was so old, and I was so young.

Now those days, are far in the past,
I guess in this life, good times just don’t last.
Now Grandpa’s gone on, to be with the Lord,
Being left here without him, I sure do get bored.

By Hardluck

Author notes

This is a linc to the picture that inspired this poem.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/httpautumngreeneyestripodcom/2180592609/

A contest entry

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • Panicked-Puppet-xXx
    November 10, 2008

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    YEAH!!!-GOLD

    Congratulations on the GOLD!!! Now we both have one gold, and one honorable mention, lol. You did very well on this poem, I knew you would win. Great Job!!!


  • debilynn gold member
    November 5, 2008

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    captivating! great rhythm and rhyme. vivid imagery. i love the story line this invokes in memories. thank you for sharing your amazing talent. keep writing! God bless you always


  • Kristine86
    November 5, 2008
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    Loved the poem, great flow to it. Congrats on the trophy!!


  • thepoetssoul
    November 2, 2008

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    If it is indeed a rough draft then it is well crafted for sure I too like the flat bottle imageWonderful rhyme and flow, strait from the heart well done and best of wishes to you.

    Tony


    • hardluck
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thank you,

      I hope everyone that reads it enjoys it, but mostly I write for myself, and I've got to say that this one brought a tear to my eye, as I remembered my Grandpa.


  • boeing bettie
    November 2, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice words about a well-loved granddad. The 'flat bottle'- great image!

    • hardluck
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks for your response,

      I'm Not sure that people around the world will get that the flat bottle is a 1/2 pint or a pint of whiskey. But that is one thing that I remember, that most of the older men carried a flat bottle of whiskey in their back pocket. I never saw my Grandpa drunk, but I know he was always drinking. I thank you for your kind words. God Bless you, Hardluck.

  • Panicked-Puppet-xXx
    November 1, 2008
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    Lovely Job...

    This poem flows with great beauty and is not in the slightest forced, Only thing is I think you meant to put those for tough's, otherwise it is skilled and written by someone with great heart and talent...

    • hardluck
      November 2, 2008
      Edit | Reply

      Thanks xXxemoxXxpoetistxXx,

      You always give such beautyful comments on my poems, I think you are just a little sweet-heart. God Bless You. Hardluck.

1 - 9 of 9