Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

Obedience To Fear

All the years of life fastened
neatly under belted loops,  
wisdom knocking on hollow doors,

signs flash no vacancy.


Childish fear comes from 

everywhere with blank stare...

eye to eye.
Open toy boxes pop in her face, 
frightening the timid child    

held captive by it's strength,

leaving her paralyzed.

Age old weakness gives fresh breath
of life to the obedience of fear,
shrouded behind the physical body
of her adult.
Hungry for the peripheral glance
of terror as it glazes over her eyes. 

Bound to her  -  her to it, 
a lifetime of adult child barriers
blocking wisdom from it's flow.

Grotesque the decision to endure
for the lifetime still before her, 
or cut the limbs baring shackles,
hard steel binding them together.

Render her a cripple...

crippled she is either way.
Her fear laughs in celebration,

victorious over another day taken. 

Her life consumed,
pride and honor beaten from her,
stripped to cowards flesh,
left naked in the darkness. 

 

Huddled within herself she rocks

wrapping her arms tightly around

the child inside...

 

And together they weep.

 

 

 

     

Author notes

Prompt: Frustrated

In a list

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 9 of 9

  • tomisb
    May 11
    Edit | Reply
    There is no lonely like the lonely of fear. False Expectations Appearing Real. Trust in an outcome betrayed so often as a child, the pounding promise of nothing being as promised.

    I like the belt loops, nice image of control. Another "loser's" (we all feel like losers when we are caught by anxiety and the only promise is your screwed) phantom: control.

    I enjoyed, if that is a word to use in this context, appreciated your tension between the adult and child. It points out so well how we are emotionally children hiding in an adult body. You end up weeping and I kept waiting for the scream. I guess this runs to close to my own history and why I was drawn to it to begin with.

    Love,
    Tom B.


    • nevadapoet
      May 11
      Edit | Reply
      Read my write called...False Expectations Appearing Real...I think you'll like.


  • Mr.
    December 1, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    That was really powerful.


  • Polaja Greeters member
    November 13, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    There is a little editing to be done here: for example you have 'paralized' instead of 'paralyzed', and the spacing after the '...' - but that could just be me ... I like the way that this developes a narrative as it goes along - and the last line is stunning ... I really like the way that it sums up the poem and adds an air of finality - very nicely done!

    Thank you for entering

    Polly

  • tomisb
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Anxiety steals joy and leaves life a whimpering mass unable to do more than whine how life is for others to frolic in. All the positive thinking, gifts and success and illusion waiting be taken at the first misspoken word or action no matter how innocent or unassuming. I know I used to suffer from a High Anxiety disorder. You capture the abusive and damaging nature of this beautifully, if such a word applies. I would go on layering compliments but I think you understand how unnecessary that is. This holds all it needs to hold no matter how sadly that may be.

    There is a way out. I have been free for the last eighteen years and living a life that was but a dream of impossiblity before.

    Love, Tom B.


  • parachute fog
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    some strong images and ideas, i don't agree that it uses the prompt strongly, it seems to wonder off creating it's own world elsewhere, i suppose if you were really following the prompt this would be a terrible poem.


  • Cannonsfire
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This holds many strong images in it and it makes one cringe at some of them. A few spell errorsrightening, decision and blackened or perhaps just blank would work in that line in the first stanza. A powerful insight into a life here, uses the prompt strongly. C

    • nevadapoet
      November 1, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      I knew you were out there somewhere...hello!!!! I don't know how I keep missing those mis-spelled words...I did a spell check several times and nothing...then you come and there they are. What's up with that? Of course, I've fixed them and changed a few words along the way. Thank you.
      Thanks for the read and for the welcome comments...I don't even know where this write came from. I read the prompt and the pen did the rest. I didn't even edit it...that scars me. Anyway...it's out of me an onto the page...no damage to be done.
      Glad you liked it...I appreciate you.
      Shelly

      • Cannonsfire
        November 1, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Hi Shelly lol My spell check misses stuff too but I have Mozilla which has a built in dictionary you can add on and it does it as I write, kind of handy as long as it knows the word of course lol. Lots of writes come from god knows where but our muses must think we need to pen them. Better out than in I say lol C

1 - 9 of 9