Tie me up,
Lay me down,
on those black cotton sheets,
Tease me, Please me,
Any way you can dream me,
Hands tickle,
my legs, arms, neck,
soft kisses, gentle nibbles,
Upon my fingertips,
Slowly
make
your
way
into
me
Flow Softly
gentle moans,
into heated desire.
A contest entry
- Lay It On Me! by Jeremy0826.
1000 points, ended November 7, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you feel when you read this?
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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Seductive
I love 'Slowly make your way into me'. The poem could end with that it - it is such a beautiful image. I think that you could lose the commas after 'tickle' and 'nibble' if I have read it right. Love it though.
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Oh well, that is a nice little poem indeed, it sure has a nice flow to it and such an ending.
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great piece thanks a million for sharing
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Imagery here is very very good. Again, writing that holds such detail does not have to be long. You have caught the sensuality within this piece. Well done. Keep writing.
Dark Wishes
Wayne Leon
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Fucking good lovemaking.
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Yes, the lineation is exquisite and makes the words flow - just perfectly!
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Well done, I like the black sheets but they should be satin! lol but to each thier own of course. I do like how you shaped the poem as well, brings in a full circle effect of metaphorical imagery and physical imagery as well. Again you create grand mindscapes with simple to-the-point verbiage and it works well.
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This was really sweet, there are so many badly written poems and sex and that’s what it becomes, but this was about making love and there’s a big defense and was a great read. Wording was great too; I have a poem which I try to do the same called Shore of love which I think you would like...
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this is a very seductively good piece, very gentle yet sensual, a very strong write
thanks
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Gre@t Write !
I really like all of the sensual wording that you have put in here. It took me out of my world and into your dreams, And for that I must thank you ! Blessings Be To You Alway's ! Brenda Gae
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Beautifully Intoxicating!!!
Very original... You managed to pull off a hot topic with class... I like how the poem's shape resembles a vase of flowers... The romantic you... Wishing you all the best!!! 
Peace, love & hugs, xx Cyn xx 
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Nice work
I'm not an expert by any means but this didn't read to me as an erotic poem even though the content is. It didn't turns my nuts because I found it whimsical, even fanciful if you know what I mean, kind of like one of those naughty songs we sang as kids but wouldn't dare have our parents hear. I'm suggesting it's not a good poem it may be the way it's laid out or just the way I read. I enjoyed it but as I mentioned I almost sang it.
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Ooo
wow..this was very nice. very well done
Savina
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Wishes becum commands
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A wonderful write here hon! The title went well with this also. I enjoyed reading this
Tease me, Please me,
Any way you can dream me,
Hands tickle,
my legs, arms, neck,
soft kisses, gentle nibbles,
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not even honorable mention..thats too bad. this was a great poem on sexual desires...flow softly with gentle moans....
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mmmmmmmmmm i like that one too.
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i like the tree shape of the poem. but more than that i like the poem itself. 'tie me up ;; lay me down.' and what happens next is beautiful passion. id like to be treated that way. its beautiful.
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i think i have to agree with Lowell Poe, im in need of a smoke at the moment. i like how this is soft, and not hard core erotica, (though i enjoy that too. )
i especially love the last three lines. -
Wow, lovely work here!
Thanks a lot for your entry in
my contest and good luck to
you with this one here!
Jeremy0826 -
Well lass,
I think I may need a smoke after that...
very good!
you are a sweet heart for reading my work...
my Irish grandma use to tell me..
Write something grand,
for you may be
entertaining Angels,
Unaware.
I think I may have done just that.
Bless you my sister,
Lowell Poe
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i thought this poem was very sofly seductive and it flowed really well, i also like the way you have laid it out, nice write x
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