Breath catches in lungs
exposed between lines
strung loosely over
gaping holes of the soul
unraveling minute by minute
revealing barely beating
pink organ
left to weather elements
of a love gone wrong
(he couldn’t handle
me falling apart)
his attempt to help
dirty shoelaces tied
around me so tightly
I couldn’t breathe
when I finally did
the world as I knew it
unlaced
Author notes
70 words or less on the prompt
unlaced
Picture from http://lindenphotography.deviantart.com/art/Unlaced-desires-85585013
A contest entry
- face the wall [quickie PIF] by stasis.
700 points, ended November 4, 2008, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Last stanza is powerful, emotional ties. Well written. Blessings.
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Very powerful last stanza, you captured your prompt well. Thank you for entering the contest, good luck.
♥
whisper
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Really beautiful
Love is blindness. As simple as a shoelace as complicated as the morning sun. Sometimes it's double-knotted sometimes it comes undone. And that IS life. -c
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nice take on the prompt . . good luck in the contest !!
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this is purely amazing. i haven't seen such a talented write for so long. this is perfect. and full of such raw feelings, metaphors and sharp imagery. simply amazing.
-checkmate.
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Intrugingly deep and sad this is a stunning take on a picture ... you went beyond the box with this hun
Best of Luck
♥
Stay safe
Love to You
~Manda
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Honestly, crazy good. Mind if I bookmark it?
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Interesting, but I'm not so sure I understand what dirty shoelaces implies.
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Wow... this is brilliant! I love your take on it, and I know this feeling all too well. Excellent job. Thanks for entering and good luck in the contest!!
♣ Tegan
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