A Second Chance

It all started with a lower back pain
Nothing critical, just a constant pain.
Usually about a four on the pain scale
Jumping to a nine once in a while.

The perks were prescribed...at first.
They dulled the ach in my back
making the pain a bit more bearable
and allowed me to enjoy life.

I had no thoughts about addiction
I just smiled and went hiking
camping, canoeing. Not realizing
the pills were blocking added damage.

The pains became more intense
I doubled up on the perks
Running out early in the month
I started buying them on the street.

Aww they were so easy to get...
But expensive at two ta five bucks each!
I started selling things for drugs
Just a few things I didn't need...At first.

I continued to go hiking, and rock climbing
Quiting my job because my back hurt too much.
The government enabled this
through their medical assistance program

Now I had more time to suffer
and so took more drugs.
I found beer was a great additive
With it I felt like superman...at first

My world began to revolve around
Pain killers and booze.
I found bars that opened at 7am
and others that closed at 2am.

Throwing up became acceptable
Arguing at home... routine
The wife and kids tried
To understand and help.... at first.

I could find excuses not to do things
The house and cars fell into disrepair
The wife was talking divorce
The kids were hiding in shame.

Screw them all!
They didn't have to suffer my pain.
Anger equaled justification
I started sleeping in the woods... at first

I found my cloths on the street one day
The house was locked and the police nearby.
I grabbed my clothes and gave them the finger.
I didn't need them, I didn't need anybody!... at first

My beard grew long, my clothes stank
I stole to eat and hustled some drugs
Slowly the reality of my situation set in.
I dreamt of my wife one night and cried myself to sleep

The next day I began to pray
And, oh God, did I suffer
I know at some point I was talking to myself
I had lost over fifty pounds.

I desperately began seaching for an angel
Someone who would help me get back on my feet.
I was at the bottom of a dark barrel of sewage
I begged for some change and bought a razor.

I washed my clothes in the river
Those clothes and the razor
were all that I owned
The pain in my back was gone.

I didn't realize this at first.
I had been too sick to sense it.
I found a job washing dishes
and slept that week in the woods

I was on the long road to recovery.
Two years would go by
Before I saw my kids again
My wife had moved on.

It was heartbreaking... at first
I bought a car; got a decent job
Found a new girl...
in time, I realized....

God had given me a second chance.