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dt=r


i. yellow highway lines may lead the way but we know you can't trust them for fear of being distracted from road signs.


plus, they take too long.

- you should follow your heart.



ii. we'll rasp dreams into each other's ears just for the sense of promise that escapes our veins sooner than we'd like. like a high.


then we'd ask "plans? what plans?"



iii. counting down minutes is like watching clouds.
they'll crash into each other. and it all fades too quickly.



iv. I'd like to hear about your day. but don't tell me every single detail; make me feel bad that I couldn't be there.


- that's what you'd hear, if you listened closely to my loosely weaved words.



v. I'm like water; I can't flow wherever I want to.


even to you.

even if I was dying to.



Author notes

i wrote you a poem, isn't it decent?

i think it is, because this has to be the most personal piece i've written.


it's yours.
like me.


--

whatami.
option lurvee yo.

credit to Converse Queen, i like your picture.
i always thought i was from the moon..

A contest entry

dt=r ; what is it? x:

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments


  • Ignis Corpus
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    WOW, I loved this one. One of the most personal pieces I do relate to. I loved how you set this up too. I do wish you all the luck in this contest. It's the best I've seen in a WHILE!
    Converse Queen


  • trekkergirl
    November 3, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I agree this definitely needs a little revising but I am assuming you haven't written a lot of poetry yet. You will get a feel of what is good and what isn't as you write more and more. You have a wonderful start in this one. Thanks for sharing this with us.


  • poetrandy
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Different!

    This poem is certainly creative and contemporary! I think it's just a bit weird and will not appeal to many readers! It's kind of obscure and perhaps just too avant-garde! I like some of your lines / stanzas, but not all! I'd simplify it some and make it more appealing to "Joe the average poetry reader." Good work -- revise it a bit and you'll have a very good poem!