Pain

Pain is a way of life...
especially for me.
Pain when I was younger
being hit cause I wanted a hug.
Pain when I grew slightly older
being told to stab myself
make myself bleed so I could live.
Pain when I grew even older
falling in love and being tossed aside.
Pain from tears
Pain from heartache
Pain from stomach pains...

The stomach doesn't feel good
especially when there is no food in it
Pain from loss of appetite
not wanting to eat or drink anything
...not even able to force it down...
Pain of knowing they have moved on
without you by their side...
Pain of hearing their voice on the other end
saying they were wrong
Saying the words I longed to hear days ago
Now I hear when they talk to me

Pain of knowing I could get hurt
Pain of knowing I could hurt them
Pain of loving him too much

Pain usually leads to tears...
I don't like crying but right now
I wear the teardrops on my cheeks with pride

Tears from happiness
of hearing they didn't work
Tears from happiness
of hearing him say those words
Tears from victory
of knowing I won...for once
Tears from pure joy
of knowing I have him once more

Pain is a way of life...
hopefully not anymore for me.