Have you forgotten,
what makes us whole,
are we so weak,
we must never be bold,
we cry ice blue tears,
to the death of our soul,
but do we fight it?
no,
our future is told.
They have taken us captive,
to live as their slaves,
petrified essence,
like old rotten caves,
we scream for our lives,
and it never saves,
but do we fight it?
no,
we're lost in the waves,
I want to go back to believing,
in everything and nothing at all,
I want to scream high to the rafters,
I don't even mind the fall,
I want to free my own being,
to be coherent when you give the call,
but can I truly fight for it?
yes,
because I believe in nothing at all.
Author notes
"I want to go back to believing in everything and knowing nothing at all": Pregofied Panther
A contest entry
- Pick-A-Prompt {Options} by newnoakua.
600 points, ended November 8, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What do you think?
Comments
-
This flows well, and you tell the story without holding anything back - it feels authentic and reads well. Some small typos, line 10, 'the' should be 'they' I think, and line 18 'were' should be 'we're'. I looked for question marks to end the questions, too.
Good luck in the contest. -
noticed a typo "The have taken us captive,"
I really liked this..
it ran deep and connected with my soul
Submit we may to the world around
never making even the slightest sound
yet long we do to be free and to stand
to be ones self
not just another grain of sand
trampled on by the careless foot of man
-
wow mom. i love this. you did a great job.. i love this!
-
This is powerful. I love it! Grand wroite, mate!
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