Today I walked out to the rocky ledge
that trails the briny, cold, blundering sea.
Peering, I leaned just beyond that sharp edge
to see white combers reaching up for me.
Not meaning to feel their icy rage
I stood to full length, rigid as a tree
and retreated from the side of the ledge,
fumbling for the beads of my Rosary.
Returned once more to cold but solid ground,
I thought how close I'd come to the edge,
and of what rested beyond the waves sound:
misery and darkness lasting an age.
So, I left that ledge and raging combers
to live life gladly though a bit somber.
Author notes
Alright doves, perhaps not rubbish then...but sure as I'm breathin' there's somethin' a bit off in it that I just can not place...
Many thanks for the editing and many generous comments. 
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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"A bit off' Smiling.....you know all of the people I adore, or have adored, have all been a "Bit off". And as for poetry- well each time we re-look at a write it always seems to need 'some" adjustment- it's due to our lives never being perfect-regardless of the circumstances.
I used to paint a lot and there were times I 'knew' there was something no quite right but could not figure it out, When those times happened I would put the painting in front of a mirror and it then became someone else's painting and the problem/error would jump right out.
Tougher to do with a poem but if you read it from last line up- it often works- not always, but sometimes.
Who am I? certainly no poetic genius by a "long" shot, I simply write for the hell of it and Amera is my AP daughter- has been since she came on AP- she'll be the first to tell ya I'm nuts but truth is the truth and she is just too adorable.
(If she were adoptable- I'd adopt her in a second- but she is a wee bit too old huh? sighhh... )
I found you from a n interesting comment you made on one of her poems- just curious- I'm ALWAYS curious.
Anyhow, nice write gal.
Len
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Oh, curiosity would be my death if it really did kill...but then again I'm not a cat, so all is well...You've an interesting conversational way about your comment there, especially considerin' you don't know me from Jane...ah, but I do thank you, for readin' and for commentin', and also for the kind words. I'm a fan of Amera's and right well impressed by here writing.
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Actually, I do know you from Jane, as Jane lives in Tulsa, has two kids, one is a Korean gal she adopted back in 2005, is 39 years old- with a degree in International Relations-although it seems only applicable to her children. LOL!
my comments are all conversational in nature- I have no problem striking up a conversation with anyone- whether in person- on line or three tables down from myself in a crowded restaurant-or pumping gas.
just my nature as a home grown Georgia boy
and don't mind me- I am as harmless as they come.. -
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What a card!
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I like it! I found a deeper meaning in this sonnet than just the imagery. Sometimes in life we all come dangerously close to the edge and then we back off to a safer distance. I commented on this earlier so it won't let me leave more bunnies.Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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Well darlin', you've read it twice now "Lifting the Fog", the Shadow Sonnet, I mean, so it must not have resonated too well...ah but alas that only means I shall have to try again!
As for this piece here, oh I am very glad you got the point! I have not ever contemplated that sharpest and closest of edges that one can come to in life but my heart has sorely ached for those I love who have and this, I think, was a culmination of that, a hope that they should come to the same peace my narrator found, and perhaps a wee bit o' my own steppin' back from the edge of anger at the situation...mostly non-biographical, but as with many things what we experience seeps into our writing. Thanks again.
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Hun, before I comment I just want to note that IT'S OKAY to simply write something that has no meaning to it. It just comes from you loving to write that's all. When I was reading this, I thought you almost had a close fall, but since that's not the case. You did a darn good job in making the imagery seem like that. This was great, and what I got from it is that you shouldn't get to close to the edge sometimes. You could fall, and this shows you holding the moment close that you can continue to live. good job hun, Keep up the lovely writes.
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The meter is a little off, but I really like this poem. It's definently refreshing in its originality. Something about its concept reminds me of Dickinson, though I can't say exactly what. It's that "slice of life" style I guess?
They say people who have boring lives live longer. I still haven't decided if that's a really good thing or not. *shrugs*
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Yes, that is it exactly, the meter...it took me a while to figure it out but I haven't had time enough to sit back down to it....I've been workin', livin', and makin' a few special things for a friend we have in common.
As for Miss Dickinson, I've studied her work well enough, admire it certainly, but I'd n'er compare my scribblings with anything such a one as her wrote.
As to what the proverbial "they" say about people and life, well now all I can say to that is there've been plenty a men to make the case for either side so obviously men ought not to be speculatin' about what lies in Another's hands...
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Perfect! You took the sonnet and bent it to your will creating this fantastic metaphor that lends a lesson for life. Emotional and image filled; Bravo!
Love,
Amera♥
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Thank you sweetheart...I'm certainly pleased that you found some merit in my words.
I hope you've had a nice weekend.
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Excellent
You're very good at writing these spirituals...'t'is what I like the most about your poems.
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This one needs a wee bit of work, but thank you. I am glad the sentiment resonates at least.
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True
That needing "a wee bit of work" is true for all written works, even those that have been published. When a work is published, revision is aborted, and the work is not truly complete because authors always find something they could've added to or subtracted from said works, methinks.
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oh wow dannie! This is great, not rubbish at all! is it a personal metaphor? Because if so I am jealous...I wish my life functioned in sonnet... I am sending you a MASSIVE hug! --Shannon
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Hey honey, look at you tow in that pic., so adorable! And I have been quite so close to the edge...well, perhaps of sanity at times...but I do think there is a bit of my own spirit in the narrator's voice; can't keep the Catholicism at bay all the time . And perhaps I'll look over all those wonderfully entertaining messages of yours and find a sonnet in between the lines... Thanks for readin' sweetheart. I hope you're havin' a good day.
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Ah, a sonnet! I love 'em! Most deftly and adriotly done here! I loved it a ton! bravo... bravo... bravo!
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What, you don't agree with the author's note? Surely I thank you and am glad for your readin' my work, but really I'm a bit bothered by something in this piece....
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