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This Little Soul

The tender life that i hold so near
A hand full of love is with this dear
This innocent soul i know one day
will grow and then will move away

But till that that time, I'll keep him near
protect and shelter him from fear
Hold him close and soothe his soul
And give him all the love i hold

This little faun, Gods gift to man
Lays sleeping in my folded hands
My gentle heart will see this faun
Will greet the coming of the dawn

In a list

A contest entry

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • s-i-m-o-n-e
    July 19
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    man how do you think of this it so beautiful


  • UnManned4Ever
    November 24, 2008

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    Awwwwww! How cute! I would love to see the " little faun' he sounds as cute as a button. I love kids! ^.


  • Nicada silver member
    November 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful and such a touching take on the adorable picture prompt. You brought this one to life wonderfully and your rhyming and rhythm is amazing. Thanks much for entering. Blessings, Patty
    Sadly, I have been informed that the little guy did not survive. He was just way too small.


  • YoursTrulyJulie gold member
    October 31, 2008

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    Beautiful !

    This is a really nice write Well done


  • rbruce gold member
    October 31, 2008

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    A lovely sentiment , well written and presented, what more could a reader ask. I, too, am curious as to the meaning of the final two lines: A gentle heart will see this faun -will greet the coming of the dawn. it fits the rhythm very well, but what do you mean? A very enjoyable read.


  • DolceVito gold member
    October 31, 2008
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    Very nice

    Excellent write, enjoyable read


  • Beret55 silver member
    October 31, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Very good, a tender poem with lots of love in it.

    • condor gold member
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. The picture for the contest is really sweet. Did you see it?


  • Girl-Interrupted gold member
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this was beautiful.. i love the words you used, innocent tender, soothe.... it really sets the scene. This little fawn, Gods gifts to man.doesn't that sum it all up? kudos!
    Great job! another excellent write!

    • condor gold member
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you. Did you see the picture for the contest?

  • jadeangyal
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This poem has a sweet sentiment. The last two lines are confusing. Whose heart will see the faun (the speaker's?) , and who or what will greet the coming of the dawn?


    • condor gold member
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Hi, sweety. I have changed one word in the second last line. Hopefully that should clear it up. The contest i entered has a picture. It is paw-writer's contest, 'The deer'. Thanks for the comments and pick up.

      • jadeangyal
        November 4, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Yes, that is more clear. What a cute picture! Too bad it had a sad ending...but then, 1-pound humans rarely survive, much less 1-pound deer.

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