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fever within the storm




the thrum of my tears
pacifies her
like a tacit apology,
puncturing veins
with pity and
possession.

it's heartless;
her blood seeping
through my emotions,
trying to construct chaos
when truths were
overrated.

[she didn't believe,
i wouldn't let her.]

scared, butterfly wrists
slowly crumpled to the floor
as words blacken
the white mind,
leaving her dreamless
so she could spend nights
searching for her pulse
and reasons to
asphyxiate.

i hated her -
unstable breath
and the way I had to
keep her alive;
her closeness only existing
in my mind.

her eyes rolled back,
examining the brain,
as i split memories
down to the roots
where her hair falls
next to mine,
lachrymose and fetal
when I reignite her passion
for life

but it will not be
without me.
her genii and
euthanist, though
nothing's painless

even when you love
to bleed.



Author notes

I did this with the stinky Jeanette!

--

still editing here and there.
let us know what you think though!

--

Credits:
Stanza 1 - Jeanette
Stanza 2 - Chandni
Stanza 3 - Chandni
Stanza 4 - Jeanette [first half], Chandni [second half]
Stanza 5 - Chandni
Stanza 6 - Jeanette
Stanza 7 - Jeanette
Stanza 8 - Chandni

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12
  • You work always intrigues me. Such simplicty and gracefullness. Amazing write.


  • Age of Rain
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    the relationship between 'thrum' and 'tears' is really intriguing.

    'tacit apology' really gets me as well.

    This is superficially emo, but goes SO far beyond that. It is absolutely a superlative write. One of the stronger collabs I have come across on AP. Really well done.


  • Puking Faerie Dust gold member
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Yayyy we are so hawt! (well maybe just you )


  • xDemonicxAngelx
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Both of you are amazing. Simple as. Best of luck in the contest.

    Take care


  • c e ll a r . d oo r
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    this is one of the most seamless collabs i've ever read.

    & i am in love with the painfully bitter taste in the back of my throat right now.



    i'm gonna go visit jeanette now, i have to read more & i've already read all yours. hehe.




  • Death of the Author
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like thrum and tacit, construct chaos

    Not sure about "when truths were miscalculated"

    scared is a bit redundant

    I think pulse on it's own sounds a little odd, a pulse?

    her closeness only existing in my mind - uhm nice

    her eyes rolled back, examining the brain - haha, ace

    That stanza is my favourite

    So whos is whos?


    • Never Fall in Love
      October 31, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      - Changed miscalculated back to what it was befor
      - How is scared redundant?
      - 'her pulse' ?
      - added the credits

      you shoulda guessed!


      • Death of the Author
        October 31, 2008
        Edit | Reply
        Overrated is better

        It's just...a little...unimaginative, compared to the rest of the poem

        her pulse works fine


  • nancy drew
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hm. i like this. it's painful, bitter, aching and sad.
    you and jeanette did wonderfully, i think.

    helen~

1 - 12 of 12