a believer of eternal pleasure
is a songless bird in a cage.
A free thinker is an eagel parting
the clouds with tireless wings
in eternal pleasure...
An eagel soars higher because
he does not soar with a flock.
A contest entry
- the eternal pleasure... by PrabhuDayal Khattar.
400 points, ended November 13, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Nicely done
Beautiful thoughts
One suggestion: do you need the last two lines? Your fifth line is a beautiful ending point and summation of your title. Just a thought take or leave.
~Mary O
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Humm..wonderful image and impressive thought you took to narrate dthe story of this love..just wonderul indeed...well done...
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Such a beautiful piece. You did a wonderful job with the words you chose, the reader can feel the emotions of the tiredless wings. Wonderful job and good luck in the contest!
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Your last two lines made me to stop and look your poetry from the line first..again..wonderful indeed...and thanks for the entry..
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How wonderfully you put it my dear
I never thought of it before, sometimes you surprise me pleasantlyA sure winner
Very well done love
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I read 'being' rather than merely 'hoping'.
Forgetting about 'it' and simply 'being it'.
Yes please
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I love your metaphors, freedom and within, we have the key enabling us to soar
lovely choice of words
exqusite
God bless you my friend...
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this is dynamite...
A free thinker is an eagle parting
the clouds with tireless wings
in eternal pleasure...
what could be more profound than this?
methinks not much.
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