What if the day comes
Where the sun doesn't rise
If we lived in a world with no such rules
Mass confusion and chaotic illusions
If there was no one to listen to
No one to follow
As many of us seem to want
Cars wouldn't have to stop at intersections
Killers would indulge in their fantasies
Walking down the street with a needle in one hand
And a gun in the other
Would be an everyday occurrence
In a matter of days, we'd all be dead
So the next time you wish there were no rules
No leaders, nothing to follow
Before the next time you choose to be a rebel
Think of the day when the rooster won't wake the sun
Where the sun doesn't rise
If we lived in a world with no such rules
Mass confusion and chaotic illusions
If there was no one to listen to
No one to follow
As many of us seem to want
Cars wouldn't have to stop at intersections
Killers would indulge in their fantasies
Walking down the street with a needle in one hand
And a gun in the other
Would be an everyday occurrence
In a matter of days, we'd all be dead
So the next time you wish there were no rules
No leaders, nothing to follow
Before the next time you choose to be a rebel
Think of the day when the rooster won't wake the sun
Author notes
Prompt-"speaking of.." 
A contest entry
- "Speaking of......." (CONTEST) by Paloszoo.
700 points, ended November 13, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ~Give me your BEST Prewrites~ by Bean Sidhe.
1000 points, ended November 14, 2008, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - chicken scratch by yael.
400 points, ended November 24, 2008, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
500 points, ended December 15, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 20 of 20
-
I really like the idea of the piece, but I think I would like to see more imagery in it. You give me everything and don't leave enough for the reader to put together themselves.
At least, thats my opinion -
-
Thank you for the advice
-
-
theres rules and then theres rules... personally i have no respect at all for cops... three times now i have been arrested and faced court three times now for things i shouldnt have been arrested for and three nights in the watchhouse... one for a concealed weapon... i was trying to book myself into detox and they asked any sharps... i was like... yeah i got a blade in there coz i dun feel safe without it but its in a sheath so u wont cut urself on it so u can take it out while im here... they called the cops when i was just trying to do the right thing. another when i was drinking in my own back yard... the guy i was living withs ex turned up and started a yelling screaming fight, neighbours called the cops and they arrested me for drinking in public (in my own back yard???), another time i was finishing a beer in my gateway so tween the yard and the footpath while i waited for a cab and they arrested me again for drinking in public. some rules yeah... but some ppl in power get too pigheaded over it and go way too far. i totally agree there should be rules in society... but come on... while they were arresting me for those things? go hunt some real criminals like the murderers u were talking about. a great write, a powerful opinion and i love the title and last line... but ill b a rebel till my dying day (altho ive given up drinking lol... no catching me trotting along with the rest of the flock that seems to be how they are turning the world today... they want us all to be sheep) ... they are even discussing not being allowed to smoke in your own front yard now... the government gets us addicted then punishes us for our addictions. go figure. anyway soz bout the majorly long comment... just had to get it out of my system... but again... a great poem,
hugs,
georgie,
xxx -
-
Ah yes, very true
Thanks for the thought-provoking comment
-
-
This is really creative! I enjoyed it! Thanks for entering my contest. I'm honored to have you share your work here. Good luck!
-
-
Thankss
-
-
This is an introspective, interesting take. I enjoyed reading very much & am pleased that you found my contest worthy for it. The end has a deep impact, leaving me thinking, which, in my opinion, is what a good poem should always do.
Thank you for your entry & good luck! -
-
Thank you
-
-
very good
Speaking of..i was gonna enter this contest, but i got sidtracked by ten other things, probably because of the rules! l.o.l. j.k. this is really good lady.

-
-
Thankss ^-^
-
-
i love that image . to think of the day when the rooster wont wake the sun . oh the best of both worlds is never as good as it seems . beautifully written piece . but i am coming to expect that of you ... thanks for sharing with the likes of me ....


-
-
Thank you very much
-
-
I've a heard a saying that goes something like "Be careful what you wish for...it may come true" Very thought provoking write that you've penned here. Certainly makes one sit back and think...
Excellent write and good luck in the contest with this one


-
-
Thank youu
-
-
Like this piece a lot. Like the metaphor at the end of the rooster waking the sun, to me it was an interesting perspective that got me thinking. (I believe that) the world was created for man, and therefore in a way we are the reason for the sun rising. In that ilk, one might say we, or our poultry alarm clock "wake the sun."
Nice write. Definitely a different perspective, not a "same old" kind of poem, and that is a pleasant change. Best of luck in the contest with this piece, I imagine it will do quite well.
-
-
Thank you very much, glad you enjoyed it
-
-
Who knows what it will be like.Is fun to imagine.Although if we were to imagine it as you write it it sounds like it could be so bleak and short lived.One does have a voice in what happens and we do all need to use our heads and not just our short lived feelings of wishing there were no rules and life is just meant to do only what we wish and it would be all out of our control and the world would be over.Great poem.Good luck in the contest.


-
-
Thankss ^-^
-
-
one of my favourite reads this month ! something new, fresh, original, and i loved the idea behind it
-
-
Thank you
-
1 - 20 of 20








