Ecstatic with the sight of morning sun
carpetting the forest floor with light,
gladly the small birds sing as one,
yielding to an impulse of delight
given to the day when night is done,
new-minted as a coin and just as bright.
The birds have raised their voices--so must I
elude the grasping net of sleep and rise.
Even though I'm tempted here to lie,
no profit will be gained, no moral prize
or benefit will I glean if I don't try,
reluctant though I am, to mobilise.
But no! I lack the will, the strength, the power,
to resist my cosy bed another hour.
Author notes
I hope I may be forgiven for using the phrase "impulse of delight," which is from W.B.Yeats' An Irish Airman Foresees His Death.
A contest entry
- Harrisham Sonnet by Harrisham Minhas.
450 points, ended November 16, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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As good as it gets
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This is a sweet write.
Many people can relate to this, as it is often difficult to get up early for work or school in the morning when one is comfortably sleeping.
This sonnet has been wonderfully expressed with imagery and feelings.
Thanks for your entry.
Harrisham Minhas
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I think this is very good - your usual "very good". I love the way you say things, I love your "voice", and I wouldn't change one word.
Having said that, do watch out with sonnets, because people do "count beans". I am not sure whether the Harrisham Sonnet insists on regularity of metre - I haven't checked - but if you happen to write a verse in which iambic pentameter is so dominant (no, don't switch off - five "di-DAHs" in a row), people are going to expect it consistently throughout the poem.
Line one kicks us off in that rhythm and thereby stamping its dominance; but then only re-emerges in line 6. Then lines 7, 8, 10, 12, and 13 are carried by the same rhythm. The remaninder of the lines are between nine and eleven syllables.
I know your criterion of "if it works when I say it aloud", and I think this does just that, spoken in a conversational way. Only one phrase rely jars, and that is the inverted "here to lie", which is the only point at which you abandon normal word-order.
I can't withhold bunnies, though, because I like it very much.
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Wonderful!
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A beautiful piece Bill with a slice of humor thrown in. Must say I have also lacked "the will, the strength, the power",especially on these cold and wintery mornings. Excellent my friend...mal
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