Take major re-occurring depression,
mix in some panic disorder until confused.
Combine with anxiety
until the consistency of betrayal.
Fold into a vat of divorce.
Simmer in one-hundred-thirty degree Iraq heat for fifteen months.
Serve upon re-deployment.
Author notes
mylee
A contest entry
- I'm alone......are you? by movedon.
700 points, ended November 25, 2008, 103 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Finish Strong by TabbyCat.
700 points, ended November 20, 2008, 58 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Talk about strong finish. Ouch!
Great write. -
Then you're a chef? That's good...
Thanks for your recent comment on my piece. This is a nice 'insider-look' at your world. My son (almost 19 y.o. now) is deployed in Iraq too; he's a Marine. I don't know what you're experiencing but I sure wish you all the best. I work with people who experience some of the stuff you wrote about in the opening lines...if I don't stay a few steps ahead of 'the game' (which is anything but that), I'll be joining them maybe. Humor is an incredible medicine (to me). Good job with this piece.
AsIThink...
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Wow, this is really great. From the beginning, the title grabs your emotions. I can't imagine being in your position, but this poem does help to imagine the many different factors of what you may feel. Really strong words, leaves you with a bit of a sting after the final two lines. Great write.
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This is really good. That last stanza just ratchets up the effect of poem by a factor of 100! Very strong write.
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