There it goes again
Your voice ringing in my head
I can feel "them" comin'
Even before people can see
The tears fillin up my eyes
I feel like shit for the lies
I have changed but you can't see
You already left me
And escaped your memories
I couldn't ask you to stay
I made my bed, that's where I lye
Why did he say your name?
Now I can't breath
I can't run away
Just holdin it all in
And grinding my teeth
Barely keep myself in one piece
My head begins to pound
I stand before him
Eyes locked onto the ground
My mind gets dim
No emotion on my face
Not even a trace
My eyes Give it away
So I shield them from sight
Mind drifts away
Holding myself tight
Holdin back the tears
but not escapin my own fears
Why did we have to have this talk?
There is no where to run
All his words are locked in my head
There is no light shinin from my sun
I wish these things were not said
For you, I would have bled
Would have bled dry
And died under my nights sky.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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The emotion is very raw in this piece, and the language brings that out in a really in-your-face kind of way. There are, however, a few grammatical things--like, why did you choose to say "holdin" instead of "holding"? You removed the "g" at the end of several other words as well... Also, you say "poud" when I think you mean "pound" and "lye" instead of "lie"... If that's intentional than disregard that bit, but if it's not, just make sure you explain it in your author's comments/proofread next time. Over all, it's a good write. thanks for entering.
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