Used to be a time for pure feast,
before diabetes, high blood pressure
and learning the word
cholesterol.
Now we amend our celebration,
a trip to the gym, whew not a snack,
then back for lovely steamed vegetables,
turkey skinned and carefully prepared,
sugar free cardboard snacks,
a variety of things like pickles, olives,
and other marinated fillers,
salad and a dabble of rice,
watching DVD’s on real banquets
to help vicariously feel apart
the old days.
Ah, but we’ll have fun when you come,
bring a pan of sugar free chocolate covered tofu,
then we can sit around
for a while and say it was fun,
maybe I’ll take you for a stroll through the graveyard
next door.
Perhaps even meet their caretaker named Juan,
best to stand downwind though,
should he have been spreading manure again.
As for the weekend, it is all pure fun,
I get to go to work
and wife is off to malls.
She’ll come on with the receipts
while I get to pay for the tab,
it’s called the holidays.
A contest entry
- #155 This year I’m eating at your house! by daviscth.
525 points, ended November 11, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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I'd rather go to your aunt's house. Or Louie's, even.
This is hilarious! My husband's one of those cholesterol counters. He skips the gravy. I make the stuffing with broth and no meat, add Craisins, apples and nuts, and I don't cook it in the bird.
Please don't tell me you really eat this way for Thanksgiving!
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You did a great job with this, but maybe I'll just have you over at my house this year.
Does anyone really eat tofu? I don't even know what it is. LOL
Thanks so much for sharing in my contest, the humor was awesome. -
You got me smiling with the first line, that turned into giggles and finally laughs from the last stanza. Lovely take on the prompt, I am still smiling. The flow and reader is taken for this trip over the holidays, I must remember though to bring something beyond dried vegetables, as the scent of livestock drifts over the yard. Thanks for the read.
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I feel so happy and yet confused when I read this poem. Its a wonberful poem well expressed and detailed yet it also makes me sad
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