our kiss and make up
is becoming redundant
and the taste is already
pungent on my lips
but I have become blunt with it
and I swallowed my pride
So I could stay by your side
just to be hidden in the shadow
of your insecurities
that seems so well rehearsed
I was naive to believe
that I belong there
Now I no longer want to be there
No! I no longer want to belong to you
I no longer belong to you!
This would be overkill
and your words cut like a knife
This death is not my life
I am standing in front of you
Not knowing what to feel
Not knowing what to say
I am saving my last breath
Nothing else matters anymore...
I am sorry, I don't love you anymore!
Author notes
just feelings that I've been dealing with for such a long time. I have actually finalized it.
the ending of my poem...whew [http://allpoetry.com/poem/4593561]
A contest entry
- & I should know, that you're no good for me. by innocence jaded.xx.
1300 points, ended November 27, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please Tell Me What You Think...
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
-
very nice
great piece thanks a million for sharing
-
I think I've been in this place, in fact I probably am right now, loving someone I know I shouldn't. Well penned in this one. I love your style
-
Good write, can relate to former marriage...
-
-
thank you...forgive me for the late reply. I am not as active as I used to be
-
-
So I could stay by your side
just to be hidden in the shadow
of your insecurities
This was a powerful part of a very poignant poem.
H
-
This was pretty!!
I love the way you made it flow like that, seemed to fit the write really well.
I like it, actually I loved it.
-
wow.... I just ended my marriage (sadly) for much the same reasons expressed here... this is eerie to read after having experienced it so first hand..
-
-
OMG Tiff really...let me hug you then, I know how it feels
-
-
Wow,
Let me say this, you have a handle on your feelings I can tell. Congrates on keeping in perfect tune. You surely express your emotions and inner thoughts so crystal clearly that you could probably tell others how they're feeling with all that brain power you have going on.
Stay in touch, and keep penning, stay sweet, and be you, because you 
-Timothy
-
Good write.
Part of the interesting quality of your poem is its “iffy” quality: the ambiguity that kept me reading all the way to the end. At what point do we really “know” that a relationship is completely ended. Sometime I feel a little twinge over a love that ended fifty years ago, but I no longer write poems about those women. Maybe that is when we really know for sure—when we no longer write about that old love, but instead write a hopeful, passionate poem about the person we are in love with today.
-
-
OMG Thank you for gracing my page...Thank you for sharing your thoughts...
This would be the last write I am going to do about him, I've been away for two years and was just back to write...cause I really don't have any outlet aside from API feel that I am done, I might be away again...
Blessed be,
Anna Lee
-
-
Beautiful ! This was very powerful and packed with emotions. I love how you wrote this. Very very well written. Thank you for entering & best of luck ! Welcome to the finalists♥
-
From what you say of this person, you must have labored to love them in the beginning. Insecurity in a person we care deeply about is so hard to deal with. I know exactly what you were saying here, because I have been there myself. You told it just right.
-
-
Thank you so much...it's so hard to talk much about this person...atleast for respect but somehow I got to write how I feel.
-
-
First of all, I'm sorry you're feeling this way. It's never easy to be in a relationship that makes you feel small or less than you really are.
The first portion of this poem was splendidly powerful. I particularly loved your opening lines of 'Our kiss and make up is becoming redundant'. It speaks volumes of a relationship going from being fun/loving to being something we maintain out of habit or misguided loyalty.
That said, I'm not sure how I feel about the next portions. They seem a little less poetic and a little more.. hmm.. I don't know. There are cliches there that diminish all that was said in the first portion.
But I know full well how emotion is always a 'cliche'. Everything has been felt and said before, and sometimes it's most apt to say what has been said by others.
The final pairing is strong in the sense that those words (I don't love you anymore) are so powerful - but at the same time, it all feels a littl weak after such a wonderful opening.
But, again, feelings are feelings and we all write them as we feel them. This was emotional and it had some beautiful, dark images. Well written! -
-
Hi Chris
Thank you for checking me here and for your comment. yeah I could just agree with you on the rest of the poem...they seem kinda iffy to me too 
and yes cliche esp the swallowed pride and the knife part hehe but like you said... it is how I felt in the relationship.
I am okay now
Anna Lee
-
-
-
good for you
got alot off of your chest and with such exquisit tact. I really feel this one's emotion and wish you the best on your contest. Feels good to let it all go ...eh?
-
-
Hi Jason
Thank you for your comment yeah I felt good after I wrote this.
-
-
Aww, Hope you are doing better my friend
A very emotional write you've penned here.
and
you've entered a contest?
Good luck and i wish you well
Ken
-
-
Thanks Ken, I think I am doing better after I have been offline for a couple of days and I think, also on entering contest
Anna Lee -
-
good good,
thats a big step hey? lol
cool,
-
-
-
Good work
I'm glad you found a way to say what you were feeling here and there!
-
-
Thank you Sir William
Anna Lee
-
-
Nice...
I hope you do well...
-
-
Thanks Tony
and kisses, I know they are not enough to say Thank you.
Anna Lee
-
Adding your comment:
1 - 26 of 26
