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The War within you!

I watched you walk away today
Your brake lights clearly saying you didn't want to stay.
my soul is on fire and my tears carve a burning path down my cheeks,
like a volcano's hot lava ripping through a sad little village.

I want to run after you
but I cant put one foot in front of the other successfully
I'm feeling like I have two left feet and I'm dancing in whithered circles around my heart.

I'm screaming banging fists against the metaphoric glass that you enclose my love in
I'd given you everything
no body couldnt tell me your heart i wouldnt win

but it came on the thunder of that night
when you looked me in my eyes and said that this just wasnt right
for me to love you like I do
when this love makes you feel like a fool
because
all you do is play this battered game of chess
and your always stuck in a check mate

and I've come to learn that this isnt about me
you have to be in control and being in love or loved leaves you powerless
so
you build up your fortress and call me the trojan horse
tell me how I infiltrated your soul and you caught me deep in battle just before your defenses were conqured.

Now you tell me that your leaving, and not to chase you
your brake lights tell me you dont want to stay 
but you pause at the green light waiting for it to turn red
make a u turn
because you only feel safe in my bed.



A contest entry

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Comments


  • innocence jaded.xx
    November 16, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ohkay, so I absolutely LOVE this. Just for starters. The only thing I can recommend is breaking up your lines a bit, though. Otherwise, wow. Your writing is amazing, and you definitely have an evident talent.

    -I want to run after you
    but I cant put one foot in front of the other successfully
    I'm feeling like I have two left feet and I'm dancing in whithered circles around my heart.
    ...

    Beautifully written and phrased. I love the metaphors and imagery in these lines. I've been there, I know the feeling, as if you're running in place. Gahh. It sucks haha

    -Now you tell me that your leaving, and not to chase you

    your > > you're

    your brake lights tell me you dont want to stay
    but you pause at the green light waiting for it to turn red
    make a u turn
    because you only feel safe in my bed.

    u turn > > u-turn
    Wonderfully written lines ! Loved it. Welcome to the finalists♥