i saw you standing so tall and proud
there amongst your sisters and brothers
getting ready to defend this country like you vowed
fighting just like our fore-fathers and mothers
you said you soon would be home again
you just had to go and do your job
i looked into your eyes, my sniper, my patrolman,
silently crying choaking back a sob
you were the first man i was able to trust ever
you were there to fight back my nightmares
you took your time like we had always and forever
you are more to me than you ever were aware
i should now be your wife
but you didnt make it back
i had to start all over with my life
you never made it off the plane from IRAQ
i was left all alone not knowing what to do
but yet i can still feel you besides me
in your footsteps il forever follow you
in my uniform do you like what you see
you gave me a confidence i never had before
now i grab life by the horns, your almost wife
just like you for my country i swore
to defend my country with my life
A contest entry
- Write about a person. by samantha jean.
600 points, ended October 31, 2008, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1014 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - how much hell have you been through by Ami.
550 points, ended May 12, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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The rhythm in this chopped and changed quite a bit, which interrupted the flow of the poem whilst reading it - perhaps lengthening out some lines would even this out and make it a little smoother -
However, this is your poem, written about someone you seem to have loved very much, so I don't wish to critique it ... I'm sorry for your loss; so many lives lost in war, and ... Well, I won't go into it.
Thanks for sharing this with us
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Oh babe I'm so sorry, I know that had and still has to be hard. This was so very well written, you really got your emotions across. I loved it it gave me goose bumps and made me want to cry.
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...plz let this b just a poem...
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im afraid this is not just a poem...
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i hope this is just a poem too =[
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im afraid this was not just a poem...this really did happen...
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Sad. =[ But very powerful.
Great write, and good luck in my contest. -
heart wrenching. what a position to be put in.
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I hope this is just a poem
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no im afraid not wifey...i told you about my first fiance that died in iraq 4 years ago..that was about him...
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