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Kerosene

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I dreamt

of paper lantern street lights
coated with autumn leaves.

But my imaginated images

were replaced with molded steel.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In a list

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 19 of 19

  • Mariana gold member
    February 27

    Edit | Reply
    Simply put...this is beautiful. Bravo!
    Congrats on the well deserved shiny.

    Mariana

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    January 31
    Edit | Reply
    See, I don't know why you aren't on my favorites.


  • Madcap
    December 23, 2008

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    Stunning

    This poem is riviting, on such short strides It tramples me down and then resounds around me. It's a shocking revelation cought in a stunning five line poem, pound for pound this thing is invincible, as envious as I am.


  • Raining Kisses silver member
    November 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is really interesting, I love the line But my imaginated images were replaced by moulded steel
    seriously good write very creative


  • Celtic Legend
    November 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    wow! nearly every one needs a taste of nature once in a while. great poem!


  • Joseph Hollis
    November 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Brevity with substance. I enjoyed the juxtaposition of dream and reality. Well-penned.


  • new born
    November 8, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Pretty, but shouldn't imaginated be imagined? I like how you contrasted hard, cold and practical steel with the more romantic image of 'paper lantern streetlights coated in autumn leaves.'


  • pigweed
    November 6, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    damn. this is great. the first stanza is billowing and soft, and the second is cold and terse and blunt.
    congrats on gold. it was an excellent little piece.


  • chaosfactor79171
    November 5, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    You sure can wow your readers, this was a very well written poem, short but very catchy. Makes one think. Good job. I also like your page and agree with you fully.


  • And Hyetal
    November 3, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    you make me squeal.


  • EverxEnding silver member
    November 3, 2008

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    Ugh. I feel this more and more these days.
    I dream of being back home living with my mom where she lives by a lake and it's
    so beautiful but I always wake up where i went to sleep, in the big city, where everything is constantly moving and stinking of gasoline.
    Sigh. I miss talking to you.
    how are you?


  • PerfectImperfection
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Ooooh, this is just so very deep, a piece of brevity without measure. Amazing write indeed in so few words. The imagery is just perfect. Well penned!


  • nancy drew
    October 30, 2008
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    this... is most definitely excellent.

    -helen

  • Melissa Gayle gold member
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This is excellent.

  • Mickie27
    October 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Seriously, awesome! It's a very good poem it really is I just loved it. It really makes you feel in touch with the poem.


  • thejollytinker
    October 30, 2008

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    Oh, for heaven's sake! So beautiful- I'm old enough to have realtives who lived in those simpler times. You just made a southern boy smile


  • Kiddy
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. I have long or short sight, I'm afraid. is the font used is very small, lol?

    brilliant images

    Much Love
    Kiddy


  • ten thousand cicadas gold member
    October 29, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    A rude awakening. Quite the stark contrast you have depicted, as well. I really like the coarse title and the reveal it adds once you've read the poem. Well done!


  • paulcreates silver member
    October 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Interesting. Mine was a dream too.

    Paul

1 - 19 of 19