I dreamt
of paper lantern street lights
coated with autumn leaves.
But my imaginated images
were replaced with molded steel.
In a list
A contest entry
- 20 words by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended October 30, 2008, 12 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - should you be on my favorites? by Melissa Gayle.
600 points, ended February 3, 24 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold II by Salty Hibiscus.
400 points, ended February 26, 13 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Simply put...this is beautiful. Bravo!
Congrats on the well deserved shiny.
Mariana
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See, I don't know why you aren't on my favorites.
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Stunning
This poem is riviting, on such short strides It tramples me down and then resounds around me. It's a shocking revelation cought in a stunning five line poem, pound for pound this thing is invincible, as envious as I am.
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This is really interesting, I love the line But my imaginated images were replaced by moulded steel
seriously good write very creative
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wow! nearly every one needs a taste of nature once in a while. great poem!
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Brevity with substance. I enjoyed the juxtaposition of dream and reality. Well-penned.
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Pretty, but shouldn't imaginated be imagined? I like how you contrasted hard, cold and practical steel with the more romantic image of 'paper lantern streetlights coated in autumn leaves.'
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damn. this is great. the first stanza is billowing and soft, and the second is cold and terse and blunt.
congrats on gold. it was an excellent little piece.
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You sure can wow your readers, this was a very well written poem, short but very catchy. Makes one think. Good job. I also like your page and agree with you fully.
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you make me squeal.
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Ugh. I feel this more and more these days.
I dream of being back home living with my mom where she lives by a lake and it's
so beautiful but I always wake up where i went to sleep, in the big city, where everything is constantly moving and stinking of gasoline.
Sigh. I miss talking to you.
how are you?
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Ooooh, this is just so very deep, a piece of brevity without measure. Amazing write indeed in so few words. The imagery is just perfect. Well penned!
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this... is most definitely excellent.
-helen
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This is excellent.
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Seriously, awesome! It's a very good poem it really is I just loved it. It really makes you feel in touch with the poem.
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Oh, for heaven's sake! So beautiful- I'm old enough to have realtives who lived in those simpler times. You just made a southern boy smile
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Interesting. I have long or short sight, I'm afraid. is the font used is very small, lol?
brilliant images
Much Love
Kiddy -
A rude awakening. Quite the stark contrast you have depicted, as well. I really like the coarse title and the reveal it adds once you've read the poem. Well done!
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Interesting. Mine was a dream too.
Paul
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