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Perfect Imperfection

I am unique,
A fragile antique.
Sweeter than salt,
Another default.
Considered abstract art,
An overlooked part.
Clearly not seen,
Being eighteen.
Wasted time,
Not worth a dime.

I am unique,
I am not weak.
Sweeter than candy,
I'm better than Brandi.
Abstract art born,
Audiences are torn.
Clearly seen,
As being eighteen.
Time well spent,
Worth heaven sent.

Author notes

It needs alot of work. Just let me know if I need to change anything I will be happy to take any advice. Thanks

A contest entry

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Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • Antebellum
    March 26
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    i like how the rhyming is natural- not forced. great write.


  • elinawilfred
    January 8
    Edit | Reply
    really a good poem plus i meen something metaphysical


  • The Hidden Darkness
    December 11, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    not bad! 18 is a hard age to be! We want to be taken seriously but we are still teens! Good poem!


  • Heartless Angel
    December 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    very very nice

    very good. the rhyming isn't forced at all and there were some rhymes that I may have to steal. You commented on a work of mine a while ago and I wanted to return the favor. Definately three applause a unique, consise and powerful work. Well done.


  • CherokeeSiren
    November 24, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I liked the line "An overlooked part. nice job


  • aslanlight
    November 23, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Your poem's also unique. I've had to read it through several times to get an understanding of it but I think it's one of those writes where the reader can come up with their own interpretations. Balance springs to mind though.

    Peace Georgia


  • J Kard
    November 18, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    im gonna go with indaburns interpretation. reminds me of "the glass is half full or empty"
    definately gets you thinking. great work

  • hazel eyed freak
    November 11, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I love it!!


  • lindaburns gold member
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    OK. I see the contrast. The 18 year old antique is an interesting concept. I see this could be deep if one wanted to be serious about it. I’m going to look at it as two different ways to look at the same thing. No misspellings or grammar errors that I can see. I will keep it in mind. Thank you for entering.


  • Beautiful Liar
    November 4, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Is my poem acceptable?


  • Lowell Poe
    November 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I love the title lass....
    and i would not change a thing.
    Defining yourself in colors.
    Beautiful.
    Your like a rainbow
    you come in colors everywhere.
    Thank you for reading my work.
    You are an angel in the first degree.
    My Irish grand ma used to tell me...

    Write something grand,
    for you may be
    entertaining Angels
    Unaware.

    She was always right.
    I think I have done just that.

    Much love lass,
    Lowell


  • Beauty Of Silence
    October 31, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    hmm... this was good! i lvoe the rhyme in this poem. its so short yet so awesome! keep penning, enjoyed this poem so much


  • A dEaD dReAm
    October 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    just amazing...sereiously perfect

1 - 15 of 15