You asked me once why I love you.
I love you for the moments
when you let me see into your spirit,
a wondrous, secret place,
though the door, solid and heavy,
always slammed shut, locking me out,
before I saw too much.
That's why I love you.
I saw inside.
It was just a glimpse
but the view was breathtaking.
Now, will you answer a question for me?
What is the door made of?
Fear?
Not of me, I hope.
Why would you fear someone who loves you
more than his own life?
Of what then?
Rejection?
Are you afraid
that if you give me all you have inside,
I'll be satisfied and walk away?
I wouldn't be.
The more you give me, the more I want.
But you already know that.
Maybe it's vulnerability.
If so, why?
It's when you're vulnerable
that I'm most gentle with you
and you're most beautiful to me.
Or is it only that you're afraid of hurting me someday?
My love, don't you know by now?
I'd rather have all of you for a little while
than half of you constantly.
An old proverb says,
"Two birds tied together have four wings but cannot fly."
I don't want to tie you to me
and I don't want to hold you back.
I just want to hold you
when we're together
and be that completely -
together -
for as long as it lasts.
I love you.
- Mark Rickerby
Author notes
Written January 30th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Do you Believe in Fairy Tales? by Bryx.
300 points, ended August 20, 2004, 24 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 46 of 46
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aww
i think every girl is waiting for the day someone says something that sweet to them. graet job.
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Still Fantastic..
It's all in the verdict..
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SPLENDID! I really don't think anything better could have done justice to these three magical words. It's straight from the heart and the emotions, the feelings, the LOVE above all, was really beautifully penned down. I'm not really a believer in love...don't know why but I just don't really have faith in it. STILL, your poem kinda makes readers like me feel that yeah, maybe love DOES exist, after all. I seriously don't any other words to say that this poem is simply outstanding-a real masterpiece.
Keep writing.
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Absolutely GOREGIOUS!!!! I just wow... I dunno what to say-you are an amazing poet! and thank you for the nice comments on one of my poems. If you would like-you should check out mine called"You". anyways great write. You are amazing!!
luv ya forver
molly -
the sentiments in this poem seem very pure of heart. suppose it doesn't matter who it's written for, maybe for the "ideal dame", the woman each of us men seem to have set up in our minds that doesn't seem to actually exist in real life. mine is a six foot tall super-model that's wildly, but sensibly assertive, gentle, intelligent enough to give a rocket scientist a run for his money, and creative enough to be producing paintings and books every year of her life. of course, i'd just be a tree-stump next to such a goddess... but such a goddess is the sort of thing i've fantasized about since i was six years old.
Edited on Jul 15, 11:22 p.m. because ''. -
I'm wondering who this is written about. A past love? A current love? An imaginary love? You don't say so in your author's comments. It is a very beautiful piece full of wisdom and insight into the nature of love.
For that I applaud you.
Maab -
Hi Mark,
This poem not only tells how much you love that person for whom it was written, but it also teaches others who think that he or she is the slave, a private property of the other - if you know what I mean. I am referring to the last verse of this poem, where you dont want to kill the freedom of the one you love. Like the reference of the proverb there. After all love isn't selfish, isn't it. I am taking a lot from this poem Mark, thanks.
My part of the poem, like I have written this:
I just want to hold you
when we're together
and be that completely -
together -
for as long as it lasts.
as long as it lasts... I loved it. It is from the heart, this write, I can tell.
Lencio
-
MUST SEE
ahan this was THE BEST POEM I have ever read so far
I wonder who is that lucky girl
now me getting jealous
comming back to poem
well non rhyming poems dont catch my eye
but yeah
your`s give a different tang.....which makes me to read more
even in this piece
the way you convince the girl
is amazing
the questions.....perfect....and gives a nice quality
terms like
fear
rejection
vulnerability
hit hard
again in the proverb........a thought to think about
this one isnt a mere cliche
about I love you
and
you love me
it has more content ......and heavy to get one `s heart filled
keep penning
Edited on May 13, 11:02 p.m. because ''. -
Mark that was beautiful! Nearly made me cry, it makes me think about Tamsin, the girl I love.
It fitted my situation almost perfectly! hmm now where did that bookmark thing go *clicks* xxxx
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Outstanding - I can see why it won the contest.
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Another wonderfull piece of magic..this is beautifull Mark..you deserved that trophy..your emotions,your passion ,flowed so naturaly..i loved this poem..good job!
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Loved this poem and your comment about 'in order to have what we want in life, we first have to make ourselves worthy'. That is what the movie "Groundhog Day" is about (one of my favorite movies). I've felt that way as long as I can remember. Glad to see I'm not the only one.
Maureen
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Wow I'm speechless, this is soooooooooo beautiful.....wow..i'm stunned...
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A million thanks to everybody who commented on this. I appreciate it.
Mark -
I am far from the "finished product" myself...
I think everyone should be saying that...
lol.. I like your philosophy teacher!! He had
it just right Loved commenting on your writes,
you're welcome as always. Happy to make ya' laugh ..
it's refreshing for me, also..to be able to toss a giggle
or two Yeah.. get unseriousified sometime! 
It's a
blast
~Aimee
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Hi Aimee,
Love seems to be the hardest thing in the world to get "right." And it usually has more to do with knowing what we want and refining our own character than it does with our partner. Though my poems may sound firm in the messages or opinions they express, I must admit that most of them are written as a goal to reach rather than a statement of who I am. i.e. I'm far from a finished product and am always struggling to live a more virtuous life.
A philosophy teacher of mine in college taught an interesting lesson one day. He asked everybody in the class to describe the qualities of their ideal mate. Naturally, everybody started yelling out positive qualities like attractive, smart, funny, athletic, sensitive, sexy, etc., until the chalkboard was completely covered. Then the teacher said, "First of all, this person doesn't exist, but if he/she did, would he/she be interested in you? I mean, do YOU have all these qualities? The entire class, except for a few very egotistical people, had to admit that they didn't. haha I guess his point was in order to have what we want in life, we first need to make ourselves worthy of it. I'm still working on that one.
Thanks for the feedback. I appreciate it. You always find a way to make me laugh, too. I REALLY appreciate that. I'm too damn serious most of the time.
Mark -
Ohhhh I love you too!! Oops.. pardon me.. I was caught up
in the moment
Mark, this was beautiful! The expression in your love... the way you've basically explained that your love is commited.
I love the lines in the stanza that spoke of fear of rejection.
Lord knows I've felt that many times and ended anything
before it started. If a man had told me what you wrote,
Are you afraid that if you give me all you have inside,
I'll be satisfied and walk away?
I wouldn't be. The more you give me, the more I want.
I probably wouldn't be alone right now...
Mark.. I think you need to give lessons to some of those
men out there!!!
Much like the others, I enjoyed this write.
Whomever this poem was written for, I sure hope
she realizes how much she's loved. It's a sweet
testimony of how you feel.
~Aimee
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A well deserved winner - emotional and full of love and questions - never let the questions stop being asked.
Beautifully written and would leave no doubt in any woman's mind how much she was loved.
~von~ -
Ohh this was lovely and I can see why it was a winner. Beautiful poem and beautiful sentiment.
Lovely
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this poem is amazing, i was taken back by the beauty of your words as my eyes rad the more and more stunning the poem became, it's charming and mesmeric your attention is held all the way through and the poem draws you into it as if you are a part of it. an exquisite poem!
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I missed the contest, but I'm so happy I didn't miss the poem. This was such a beautiful write and very deserving of a win. I can read this one like a check list of all the things I seek in a partner... the ability to give 100% of ones self to another is surely how love should be. Wonder why it is that we so often feel the need to hide away a portion... I think you've touched on all my reasons
Love like that would sure be a treasure Great write filled with beauty that also managed to stir by a bit of past
pain too
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Criticism? What's that?! No one ever better criticize me, or I'll, I'll, well I'll stomp my feet and complain! No, really, I agree. Constructive criticism, very useful it can be. Pushes us into growing, damn it! I hate to grow! Growing pains hurt!
See you soon!
Kerry -
I am breathless. This is such a wonderful love poem, it is so unique in such a beautiful way. It is not the same old cliched love poem. Great write, I am still astounded. Wonderful job, hun.
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Wow! I bet you would even hold the door open for me too! Just like a real man. LOL. This is a sweetheart of a write. Just muey muey good!
Sweet write and very loving.
Congrats on your win for the contest, but I think you won more than that... Seems you have some really kind friends you met along the way.
Blessings and *stomps -
Very cool.
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Hey Kerry,
Very good points. I think Jim Morrison said it best, though I'm not a big fan of his poetry. A reported asked him what his response was to critics of his poetry who told him to stick to singing, etc. He said, "I guess they didn't get it." I think artists need to have that kind of righteousness, as long as they're not fooling themselves and being haughty just to avoid doing the work necessary to improve. Sometimes criticisms are very good medicine, as painful as it sometimes is to expand outside of our boundaries.
See you at the temple,
Mark
Edited on Mar 13, 3:52 because ''. -
Wow, this is really beautiful and really clever, you definatly deserved to win!! Well done and congrats.
XxX Pixie-Rose OoO -
A "big, steaming pile of elephant dung"? BWAH HA HA HA HA HA!!! You even put the comma in the right place, always grammatically correct, you are. So funny! Good to hear someone else whose ego isn't tied to their writing. I know so many that go like this: Get a compliment, feel good. Get criticism, feel bad. Get a compliment, feel good, and on and on and on. It would so suck to have how you feel about yourself blown around by the wind like that. I'm glad to hear you're not a victim of that little mind-game. I'm trying to teach Amanda that it doesn't matter what other people think, it's an art form, and it's personal.
I mean, what if someone told Picasso he warped his lines the wrong way? What if they told J.D. Salinger that "Catcher in the Rye" was too negative? Two great artists that wouldn't have existed (publicly, anyway) just because someone told them not to believe in their own work.
Enough said. End of rant. Sorry, I just go on and on these days, and I'm a little hyper tonight, I think I drank too much coffee!
Kerry
Edited on Feb 09, 4:55 because 'I ALWAYS edit!'. -
Hey Kerry,
Ah, thanks. That's a pretty big compliment. I hope I can live up to it.
Heck no, I don't win every contest I enter. I've lost a bunch of them. But losing doesn't slow me down a bit. In fact, if someone said to me, "Your poetry is a big, steaming pile of elephant dung", that wouldn't slow me down, either. Everybody's got their own opinion. My only measurement of whether a poem is good or bad is whether or not it resembles what I originally set out to say. Then there's always that inner feeling of flow and avoiding clunky words like kumquat. haha
I hope you had a great weekend,
Mark -
Hey, congratulations, Mark! Do you win ALL the contests you enter?
But this really was beautiful, and deserved to win. If only everyone were more like you, what a wonderful world it would be. See you soon!
Kerry
Edited on Feb 09, 1:09 because 'typo, once again'. -
I just wanted to say thanks to everybody who commented on this poem. Your encouragement really means a lot to me. Knowing that my poem touched you was more rewarding than writing it. I feel blessed to be among people with so much heart and good-natured generosity. I wish we could all hang out and have a pint together.
Thanks again!
Mark -
very believable... and sincire poem. i like it a lot. good job, and congrats with winning the contest. totally deserved
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I guess I never did comment on this but I just wanted to let you know that I fell in love with this poem the moment I read it. You are a great writter and I am glad you decieded to enter this contest!
~Candy -
AWSOME
oh wow, this is one of the most beautiful poems that i have read about love in a long time...This is awsome...Thanks for commenting on my poem....
You are a very talented man...I am really glad that i came to your page... I will have to read more of what you have to say...
Tammy
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Most Most Excellent!
Dude, we are of a kindred soul, the last of chivalry in the modern age... It's good to hear there are more people who still believe in this! as of late, I was seriously concerned that I was alone in it... Great write my friend, just simply beautiful! Deffinitely keep on penning!
Sincerely,
MrPink -
Beautiful thats all I can say wow how great this poem is the way you put it and feelings you showed I love it great job on such a good write keep it up.
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Wow, is this one of the most beautiful love poems I have ever read. And how lucky is she that you wrote it for. Too bad more men aren't as able to express their love both in words and actions. It's a delicate balance between suffocation and neglect, letting someone be who they are and accepting them but still making them feel loved and appreciated. I really enjoy your writing! Lily
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excellent
Well, I'm pretty sure any woman who reads this will fall in love with you and envy the woman it was written for. You had me from:
"I love you for the moments
when you let me see into your spirit,
a wondrous, secret place"
She's a lucky woman, sweets....but, then again...from what you've written, it sounds like you're a pretty lucky guy too. Thanks for sharing this absolutely beautiful poem.
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Hi Mari,
I've always believed the reins of love should be held loosely. When we're smitten by someone, it's so natural to drown them but the best thing is to give them as much space as they need, or as Jimmy Durante said, "Always leave 'em wanting more." A person can have too much of anything, even great stuff like lobster, sunshine, Dom Perignon champagne, and sex. (Well, maybe not sex. haha) Why should love be any different?
It's also very common for people to think, "God, if I could just be with him/her, I'll never ask for anything ever again." Then they're with their dream person and they set to work almost immediately trying to mold and change them.
I guess acceptance is the key in love, as it is in just about everything else, huh?
Thanks for your kind words, as always. I hope all is well on your side of the world.
Mark
Edited on Jan 31, 2:39 because ''. -
Lovely. This poem was simply beautiful and you expressed non suffocating love so well in this. Nicely done.
~Amanda~ -
This is great. Pure and simple. As always, you're a genius at making commonly-known things unique. This poem is wonderful. Great job.
Edited on Jan 30, 10:07 p.m. because ''. -
Now THAT is love
simply one of the most beautiful declarations of love i've ever read..and all as it should be,in my opinion
God Bless
much love & peace
~Pamela -
i certainly agree with brida...coming on ap you get to see inside the minds of people and it really is a lovely experience to see how beautiful people are and you shinethrough in this piece how wonderful to be loved by you...isnt that a song somewhere...wel its what your piece made me think of. beautiful simple accesible and lovely
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Wow Dad, this was a beautiful poem - you truly have a loving soul Thats my daddy! Someone who is willing to love unconditionally - but not suffocate, wow. Beautiful job!
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This was really good! I like the emotion you putt into it! Good luck in my contest!
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Lovely!
Oh my! This is incredible beautiful! A declaration of love that can't be ignored! You say how big is your love without suffocating the woman. Love without making from it a prision, given the freedom that is necessary to make the love grow. If only more men had the same thought as you, women would be so much happier!
Lots of Mari
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